Having a hate day with loathe

Hi @Dark_Olena

Thanks for your post and well done in using the forum as a sounding board to help you reflect and work out what is going on with family.

I'm always surprised in these days of text based conversation, that people don't just go back and delete/edit if they think their message might land as "rude".

You say you are a sensitive person and I wonder if your son's partner knows you well enough to know how you might interpret her response. Sometimes we need to find a good time to explain these things to family. Sometimes we also need to say, she didn't mean to offend me - give her the benefit of the doubt.

Silence and the "cold shoulder" can be a comeback. But you can also use it as processing time to work through with yourself: why has this triggered me? What am I making it mean about me? Then try to let it go.

It's great you are looking out for your daughter. It's a great honour to be asked to be a god parent.

Why are you hating on yourself? This will only make you more miserable. Try to find compassion and take care of you today 🙂

kind regards,

Frog

Hi @Dark_Olena.

it seems to me that your son's partner is already aware that she can appear rude - or she would not have said "sorry if that came across as rude it wasn't meant to."

I guess if I was in your position then I would try to let it go.... but just be aware that she is someone who may get a bit short or abrupt at times, unintentionally. It's her problem, even though it effects you personally.

I am like you, I am sensitive and I take things to heart. It's to do with my upbringing, where I was criticized all the time and yelled at frequently for no apparent reason. So I am very suspicious of people and always feel they might be out to victimise me..... even though they are just going about their business and not even aware of the effect they night have on me.

@Dark_Olena, just try to be very kind to yourself. Focus on the things that make you happy. Seek out people who do allow you to feel happy in their company and who support you.

If you need to, talk about what happened with a trained counsellor. You might gain some valuable insight into why you feel so bad. I know counselling helped me immensely.