Parental guilt

Hi' i was neglected and abused in childhood and it has affected me a lot

The awareness and care u have of ur actions shows u are nothing like someone who intentionally harms their child.

My dad is on the spectrum but is narcisstic and would never get diagnosed bexause be believes he is perfect and puts blame on others for responding to him in ways he does not like.

I agree mostly and often BPD can be caused by trauma in childhood but I wander if that statement is objectively true? Maybe sometimes but there may be more factors in how someone develops BPD.. it also overlaps a lot in symptoms with Cpstd.

Im sorry to read about the guilt you feel. U sound like a very caring parent and ur daughters struggle does not mean you failed. A lot of successful people have bpd or cptsd and ur daughter can lead a beautiful life.

Hey there @Gluhbirne ,

I've just read your post and it sounds like what was said has really impacted you. I've lived with BPD for many years, and so have many others. It does not necessarily mean they were neglected/abused.

There are 9 BPD traits. It only takes someone to have 5 to be diagnosed with BPD. A mathematician will tell you that there are soooo many different combinations of the 5 traits amongst the 9.

It is impossible to put the blame solely upon a child being neglected and abused. It would be unfair to say this. I certainly wasn't neglected an abused. My parents worked hard, they never fought, I did very well at school....yet I was still diagnosed with BPD. Why? Probably because my personality was more susceptible to environmental triggers, and I was also more sensitive than others.

Put it this way, I have siblings. None have BPD nor mental health challenges - only myself. Yet we had the same parents, we were treated the same, we lived in the same house, we had the same opportunities.

Please don't think you are to blame for your daughter's BPD.

You are welcome to visit Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT This is to helps carers of those with BPD.

You may also want to join our BPD community here Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

Whatever it is, you tried your best. You did what you could as a parent for your daughter and that is what matters.

Hi @Gluhbirne ,

I also have BPD and would never blame my parents. As @tyme mentioned, they did the best they could. They sacrificed a lot to give me the things I needed. I was never neglected or abused by them.

Please don’t think you are the cause of your daughter’s BPD. Rather, see yourself as someone who has brought forth a highly compassionate, sensitive human into this world. One with intuition and care.

Borderlines care. They care so much that they get hurt sometimes. And because they get hurt, they eventually learn other ways to cope with the hurt - this may be seen as impulsive behaviour, attachments, rage… just remember it is a hurting child that is speaking, not your daughter herself.

Don’t give up. Know that you are not to blame.

Don't listen to this ladies ignorant comment...you are not at fault.

Genetics and environmental factors contribute. There is some newly approved treatments coming- MDMA, psychedelics.

Also new research by Dr Chris Palmer (diet- low carbohydrate may help) & FMT (icky but there is a link gut-brain axis) which may take 5-10yr for approvals.