Sleepy_SpinsterCasual Contributor
Talking to family with self diagnosed BPD or gaslighting.
How do you help when you don’t know for sure what the true issue is?
My sister is living interstate with her husband and 2 young daughters. I have seen a few red flags with him including his seemingly aggressive conspiracy theory debating which he loves to do. In the past couple of years they have moved interstate, accused both their mums and his sister of being narcissists and cut ties with most of them indefinitely. They say this is boundaries they are placing as they are learning more about themselves and their trauma. My sister also has self diagnosed quiet BPD but refuses to get it officially diagnosed by a medical professional claiming that her lived experience should be enough. I don’t want to invalidate her (and do see some of her symptoms of BPD) but when I talk to her about any of the things that are happening, she gets extremely defensive and twists my words to fit a narrative that no one believes her. She is also relying on questionable sources for her information. I am concerned that her husband is gaslighting her and slowly isolating them both. This whole situation is causing a lot of hurt both to her and the rest of the family. I was staying out of it hoping they could work it out themselves but it is becoming quite extreme now and I don’t know what to do.
