SeclorumCasual Contributor
Bipolar/ Borderline partner episode..
Hi all,
I don’t know where to start but I knew from the beginning that she had endured some tragic moments and that she was affected by them. It was not until maybe 10 years later that she was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder and through other means diagnosed with also having a borderline condition (this was a few years later) all together we have been sharing our lives about 18 years. We are married and have a 10 year old boy. Every time I have attempted to discuss treatment since about 2016 it has been met with anger, denial and accusations.
looking back, to an ‘incident’ that occurred about that time, I did not connect the dots as they say due to the fact that the borderline diagnosis was still years away.
Today, she officially left ,for the last two + months she has been going through (I believe) an intense episode where she has accused me of many things, some, horrible. I love my wife and have always been mindful of her vulnerabilities, in specific one that keep happening and was most prevalent, trust. There are some other close ones like abandonment and feelings that I wanted or rather I was very controlling.
most suggestions were taken as commands, my opinion always triumph in the end according to her but whenever dissected, that is the situation or ‘topic’ and proof or facts were issued or discussed, they were never challenged, rather, other front opened up, often taking us back to the beginning of our relationship.
She has been engaging in risky, impulse behavior with complete defiance and in deference. The pain and heartache is so painful and in as much that I tell myself and know that this is in part her condition/s, I see someone who believes her thoughts and it’s convinced that it is I who needs to change. Because it has not in the most part affected her career and in fact she excels in it she has been able to gather plenty ‘support ‘ to her great demise. (No sarcasm intended)
She speaks of a time-out, an amicable one, but in the meantime her actions are causing so much damage, in particular to our son, whom is very aware and very angry. I have recently re engaged with my psychologist and have spoken to counselors at my sons school for help with further help available if he chooses, I don’t want to make him. We have a very close relationship but I am aware that he may need professional assistance. My family is supportive and in particular one family member who is in the medical community.
In my despair, sometimes I wish that it would happen like in the movies where individuals going through ‘episodes ‘ would be taken, assessed and cured or at least be convinced that they have a problem and that if they want to stop living a tormented life that there is a way, there is help. That off my chest, I look forward to hear and learn how I could assist this person whom I love so much but have been unable to help all this years. Help.
