Over it all

yeah, it's hard.

@Sirine

I'm wondering what's happening for you to feel this way tonight? Would you like to share?

@Sirine

Are you still staying with a friend?

@Kyle1 Yes hun I was hoping to go home this weekend but no. I’m out of patience I really am. The new job I took promised heaps of work and I have had 3 shifts in 4 weeks so have had to borrow money get help with rent etc. just nothing seems to be going my way. I’m struggling with drinking again and my friend has no idea about bpd or cptsd it’s just let it go, move forward, challenge the thought and bs. I haven’t seen my therapist in a month trying to get Ndis and my friends dog ate some of the paperwork. I’m over it.
sorry about the rant

@Sirine that's OK. Rant all you need to. I get it.

Life's a bitch, and it's hard to have to go it alone...

I've been enjoying myself some alcohol lately, too. Like self medicating. Helps me sleep atleast.

If you're not getting many hours at work you should be eligible for help from centrelink.... ?

@Kyle1 Yeah things are just really bad right now and have been for months I just need a break. I’m on dsp but I have debts I’m paying off so it doesn’t cover everything.
I drink to numb the pain and it’s the only time I don’t get flashbacks or overthink, I know it’s not the best thing to do and I’ve cut down from drinking every day to once or twice a week but I got a bit messy last Saturday and my friend is very upset with me. I’ve been trying so hard but sometimes everything gets too much.
I have a job interview Tuesday so hopefully they will start me asap. I really have no supports but it’s nothing new I never have had any.
it’s just sucky 😭

@Kyle1 My friend had a frank discussion with me today and I do need to take some responsibility but I’ve been feeling horrible for weeks like a thread pulled too tight. I have so much rage deep inside that has nowhere to go and the meds stop it bubbling up. Everything that has happened to me in the last few years is taking its toll and what that woman did to me was the icing on the cake.
3 months I’ve been homeless and paying rent I’ve struggled with employment either I have too much or not enough. I struggle with relationships I have 2 friends and no support. My kids hate me and don’t talk to me haven’t seen my grandkids in over 8 months have little motivation few good days and it’s all just come to a head I guess

@Sirine

I understand how exhausting all that can be. The financial pressures. The haunted thoughts. The isolation. Sometimes I dream of sleeping for a whole year just to get away from it all. Lately I've been imagining something more permanent.

It's a hard one to accept, sirine: your situation. I feel you.

What about today - what you up to?

@Kyle1 Morning I just got up. R u ok?
I have some things to get at the shops and washing to do.

im worried about you now my friend

I hope the sun is shining for you today - since you've washing to do. Or perhaps you'll use a drier, yet...

Hey, be on the look out when your out shopping. Try notice something nice that gives you pause. I'd love to hear about it, please?

@Sirine

@Kyle1 I have to use a dryer where I am which is annoying. Oh well.

thank you for that idea I will try and find something to inspire.

please remember I’m here for you as much as you are for me 🫂