TW - Suicide

Yes - I know @ClockFace

That is so tough.

You are remarkable though - you haven't given voice to your feelings and you are certainly entitled to your anger. And you had to go out and search for her when your own health is not at all good.

It does sound selfish - I know people like her are in pain - and they sometimes make efforts to end the pain - sometimes they end the pain for themselves. The pain doesn't stop though - it's spread around to those people who love them - I have experienced this myself through two family suicides - my son and a cousin - it takes a lot of getting over.

You need support - I hope you get some for yourself and yes - I hope your sister gets the help she needs too.

And @Bow - I understand and respect what you have said - you are battling too - I have read some of your recent posts. We are all entitled to our various opinions - and experiences influence how we feel, I care about you too.

Owlunar

@Bow

I do understand your position. I used to feel very much that suicide was the potential outcome of an illness. I dont know how I feel about it so much now days. Ive been in the position of having strong suicidal impulses, I never acted on them. I think partly, mainly I was able to get significant help and of course medication. I have also struggled with self harm and many would say that some of my actions would indicate that I still do.

@Owlunar

To lose you son, and cousin to suicide words escape me.

Suicide impulses I think can be treated in most cases, if people are treated as being serious or they get a psychiatrist/psychologist capable of addressing the situation. Its an area of MH that is seriously lacking.

Even services like life line and beyond blue have issues. I used beyond Blue before SANE and they had a 20min time limit, along with 10 minutes or more of questionairs.

All hospitals should be equiped to handle a suicidal patient and they arent, not at least in SA.

Thanks @ClockFace

It has been hard losing a son and a cousin to suicide - and after my son died I did experience Suicide Ideation myself - I had expended myself for his sake and it all felt wasted - now - I am sure it was not. As the years have passed I realised that through his troubled life and sudden death he has given me a rare and wonderful gift - that of insight and compassion - other traits as well - I doubt I would have learned what I know through any other event.

With my cousin it was quite different - his parents - my aunt and uncle - had been supportive of me through my troubled years and although I was really grieving myself I was there as much as I could be for my relatives. I knew what they must have been feeling and they used to treat me like the daughter they never had.

I do appreciate your comments.

Personally I have found Lifeline useful - because of my chronic pain I do ring sometimes - I just need to talk about it with someone - I tried Beyond Blue - I don't think I ever went past the switchboard - I only tried twice - I think that service was not for me and I actually don't feel as if I am beyond blue - just a trifle overwhelmed sometimes - I live alone and we all need to talk to someone about our inner being now and again.

I heard on the news that in Victoria the mental health patients in a crisis would no longer be treated by the police but rather by the ambos. Personally - I think we need an alternative - the police are not always likely to be appropriate and the ambos are there for people with heart attacks or severe injuries, or whatever. Surely a stretched system would be torn between a person giving birth with problems and a suicidal person - who is the most urgent? That would always be the question.

No one can say which is worse - physical pain or mental torment - you seem to have both - I am blown away a bit on how well you write. I am amazed you are still standing actually - with all you have to deal with.

Thinking of you

Owlunar