Missing myself

Hi @Oriole

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. I can feel the pain in your words and it must be really tough for you right now. Have you talked to your GP about how you're feeling? As you've said, you have so much in your life worth living that I am hopeful you might just need steering in the right direction of how to start feeling better again. The forums are definitely a great place to start though. Talking to others and sharing your feelings can be very therapeutic and healing. Especially when it is making connections to those who know what it feels like to have anxiety and depression. Keep reaching out,

Warmest wishes
Hanami

Hi @hanami

Thank you for your kind words. I have been active in trying to improve my mental state, I’ve had a few GP appointments lately, I’ve got a Mental Health Plan in place, I have psychology appointments starting up, I have psychiatrist appointments in a couple of months. I’ve been prescribed and am taking a medication to help with my anxiety which doesn’t seem to do a great deal. I’ve also been prescribed other medications which I will most likely start using later this week which I am optimistic about despite the fact I’ve never used drugs or alcohol recreationally.
I just can’t seem to get a handle on my mind and it scares life out of me.

@Oriole I hear you. I can recall having all the 'right' things in place for my anxiety just like you but still, my mind would run wild with all sorts of awful thoughts and scare the life out of me. Gradually with all the supports in place, I improved. Little by little. And it was a pretty slow old process. Hopefully all of the things you have in place will start to help you feel better very soon.

Hanami

Hi @Oriole,

Welcome to the Forums. My name is Floating Feather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is nice to have you with us. Thank you for sharing some of your story with us - I know it's doesn't always feel easy, particularly when you first start out but please know there are many supportive and understanding people on the Forums with a variety of lived experience.

I can relate somewhat to how you are feeling. I have had anxiety and depression on and off much of my adult life. I am quite a bit older than you but around my late 20s I remember very clearly being racked with anxiety, fear and depression. It was one of the most difficult times of my life and I remember thinking that I would feel like that forever.

Fortunately with time, professional help and treatment, support from family and friends these feelings did slowly dissipate. It did take time and it did take work but 20 years on I have never felt that way again (it's not to say I don't feel anxious and depressed sometimes but never the way I felt all those years ago).

I can particularly relate to your last paragraph where you talk about missing you, missing joy etc. From my experience (even though you may feel like it's hard to imagine right now) you will find all those good things again - it takes time but it really can happen.

I wish you all the best.

FloatingFeather

@Oriole Good to meet you.

I have felt like 'missing me' during many tough times.

I also tend to take a long range view, and think life stages matter a lot. You seem to be in a period of work and consolidation. It is great you have genuine affection for your family of origin and your wife. A lot of life seems to be about managing expectations. The pressure is one people a lot these days.

I was struck by one phrase you used 'zero stimulation and find myself overwhelmed by the new environment'. New jobs always take it out of us. Also the realisation that it just keeps going on and on and on ... motivation when you do not feel fully engaged can be hard.

Take Care

Apple

@Oriole

Thanks for sharing your story, although it's a difficult one. Though very relateable, unfortunately.

What you describe cuts very close to home for me.

Hope you stay in touch here at the forums. There are others feeling like you...