It shouldn't affect me

Hello @Knj. I noticed noone has replied yet . I hope you're OK. It sounds as though the relationship with your dad is important to you and you need each other but neither of you is in a good place right now. Sometimes when we care about someone we need to look after our own needs too. Is there anyone else you can reach out to for support?

I'm sorry you're in pain. What's been happening for you?

He's actually never really been there for me, I guess I just wish my parents were different but they aren't. It just bothers me that I always have to be the grown up and mature one.

I don't really have much of a support system.

And trust me I do look after my own needs as the environment he lives in and what he does to himself isn't safe for me to be around.

It's just physical pain, but it's more of the principle behind it.

Don't underestimate your own strength and resilience @Knj it sounds as though you have a bit of both. I guess part of the growing up and maturing process is recognising that our parents are people with their own human needs and human flaws.

Do you have a gp or some other professional advising you on your physical pain?

If you're a young person @Knj maybe also try Kids Helpline. They have phone counselling and Web chat.

Best wishes.

Have you explored these Forums yet? There are social threads and interest groups and threads people have started with ongoing conversations like this one.

I'm surprised none of the peer support workers has got back to you yet.

Hello! @Knj My name is Amber22 and I am a Peer Worker here at SANE (also moderating these lovely forums at the moment).

I am sorry to hear that you're going through this right now, you're definitely not alone and I am really thankful that you have reached out on the forums ❤️ It can be really tough when we feel like the ones we love don't want our help, or don't understand when we are reaching out for help either. I've definitely resonated with what you said about family members not taking you seriously or laughing when you're trying to express how you're truly feeling. It is so valid how you are feeling at the moment.

We do have many social threads that you're more than welcome to join into at any time, as well as a few things going on in our Social Spaces, maybe you could have a look around here and see if there is anything that resonates with you.

Another thread that might be helpful is our coping toolbox, where we can post what works best for us when we're struggling or going through a rough patch mentally. And another favourite of mine is the good morning thread where you can visit it in the morning to have some chats before getting on with your day. Any my one personal favourite, if you're in for a relatable laugh is our ice memery (I'll let the memes speak for themselves hehe.)

Also, if you're looking for some social interaction in group form then we have a groups event tomorrow night (a Peer Group Chat) where we will be talking about Recovering from Invalidation.

Please let me know if there is anything else that might interest you, or if you just wanted to have a chat.

I'll also tag some lovely forumites that might be able to give some love and sit with you for a while if you needed: @Appleblossom @NatureLover @Shaz51 + everyone else online 🙂

Great minds think alike, I was writing a response right as you posted that! @Dimity I hope you're well ❤️

I'm fine thanks @amber22 , very glad you're here

hello @Knj and welcome to the forum

sending you understanding hugs as i was always and have been rejected by my father all my life and I tried soo many times to reconnect with him after being continuing mentally , emotionally and then physically abused by him