ClockFaceSenior Contributor
Is it time to quit yet
I wanted to chat online but chat is unavailable which sucks, dont want to call as my sister is always around so I cant talk privately. Ive been posting on here and Facebook groups heaps, probably too much. I just dont have anywhere else to turn. I have an appointment with my psychologist on the 11th March which is forever away, though I have requested an earlier appointment. My GP appointments are only 15 minutes and tend to go long anyhow, they are generally pretty full. Im waiting for my first appointment with a councillor though SANE. I do have a Psychiatrist appointment on the 1st but this is primarily medication focused as I am having psychotic issues.
My Sister has been in and out of general and mental hospitals over the past 3 months. Ive been her carer since she started having mental health issues, which is around 2 months ago. For the first month I would visit her 3 or 4 times a week as work allowed, but once the mental health issues started being an issue I started to become far more involved and took a break from work to focus on her and try and manage my deteriating mental and general health issues.
She finally made it to the mental health facility that we had been trying to get her too for weeks. She was there a grand total of a week and a half before she was discharged with a primary diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. They were able to give her some management techniques but said that they did not have the ability to provide further treatment at this time. They said that it would be easier in the future for her to get admitted there and that she may only go home for a short period beforre needing to be readmitted and then several times further after that before she settles properly back at home. They did start the process of getting community supports around her, though most of these will take around 2 weeks to be operational.
So she is now in my care completely, Mum doesnt come out her room so there is no support there, Dad doesnt understand mental health so there is little support there. I take care of her during the day, drive her to her appointments, shopping etc. From the time I get up to the time I go to bed, I am basically with her and its hard, like really hard. She jumps from mood to mood, emotions are all over the place. Nothings ever right or done right. She seems to be constantly finding fault in what I am doing and how Im doing it. One thing she does which drives me bonkers is to tell me the things that need to be done, yet I have been doing them, on my own, for 3 months and the dogs havent died and the house is still standing. She has trashed the kitchen and the lounge. Its my fault if she forgets her medication, because Im supposed to be her carer. Apparently its ok for her to leave rubbish where ever, even on the sink where the bin is and its now my job to clean up after her.
She has been given some techniques but no one gave me a damn thing. I have no idea what I am doing. I of all people shouldnt be responsible for another person. I dont want kids, partly for this reason. I have Bipolar 2 with psychotic features, that I barely manage. Im an ex-alcoholic (really struggling not to relaspe. I struggle with depression and most the time at the moment I just want to sleep and my anxiety is sky high. Who am I to be deciding whats right for another. I just want to give up and be done with this but there is no one else and I love my sister too much to abandon her
