Not coping

Hi @john74

Thank you for reaching out here on the Forums!

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot at the moment and I can understand how you feel lonely after a break up of a relationship. I am a little concerned about how you said that no one can be trusted and you feel like giving up. Have you reached out to get some support from a Counsellor or psychologist from your GP? SANE has Counsellors who you can have a chat with over the phone if that is something that you would like to give a go. I will add the details below

• SANE Support Centre: 1800 187 263 Counselling 10 am to 10 pm Monday to Friday

Getting support has been helpful to me and I use it whenever I need extra support.

Take care

RiverSeal

@john74, I agree with @RiverSeal , if you are feeling at your wit's end then it's ok to reach out and talk to a counselling service. The problems in our life can easily overwhelm us, especially if you have to do it on your own for the time being. There are people out there that can help, but you need to make the first move.

Thanks @RiverSeal . I have an appointment with the Sane intake team on the 10th March. I think l just need someone to help me get through the issues step by step. I have also had an issue with swolen leg that had previously had a dvt. The second ultrasound showed nothing but l am now on anti coagulant drugs to stop any other clots forming. I am try to reduce my weight and run again. My blood test results came back fine just pressure a little high. It seems like l have a small win then two steps backwards.

Hi @john74

Breaking up a marriage or a long-term relationship is really hard - there's the personal issues of starting a new life in a new home and alone - I totally understand.

Perhaps because I had been the main driver and manager of the marriage I didn't have a really bad time but my ex fell apart completely - I had cooked for him and washed and ironed his clothes - after all - I was doing that for my daughter and myself - otherwise our marriage was over - we had been living in the same house but hardly together for a couple of years. After our daughter left it was the end and we split.

It is only all the time since that I have realised how hard it was for my ex-husband. He really had no idea of how to care for himself and with all the property settlement chaos I had no patience with him. It was horrible. I had to ask our daughter to show him how to manage - perhaps iron his clothes and get his hair cut - things like that.

I have thought about that for over 30 years I think - well it was over thirty years but how long I have thought about it would be a long time too. I understand what you say when you feel as if you need someone to care for you - if you never had then you need someone to give you a bit of a start - I understand. It must be devastating.

Perhaps you need a better lawyer - and do you have some kind of income seeing as you are looking for work. I know this is over-whelming for you right now. I am concerned about your mental health because this is really hard and this financial climate is not good for you either. I guess it depends on your work experience and financial status - and yes - I do imagine you would feel as if you need someone to care for you. Anyone would I imagine.

Perhaps you need to see your GP for starters. It does sound as if you are really battling and in some way you need to find a way to start again - I know the MH people are full up since COVID and this is a big part of the problem.

One thing you can do is to ring Lifeline on 13 11 14 - they are generally pretty helpful - if you don't get useful suggestions from the first person you speak to - try again until you do.

I wish you the best - I know this is tough for you and I am sorry.

Owlunar

Thanks @Owlunar l am able to cook and clean myself but l struggle with emails and l hate talking on the phone. I totally distrust everyone except my gp . Every time l try to apply for a job or interact with other l get very anxious. It comes from years of bullying, abuse, public humiliation. embarrassment.