MrscaptargoCasual Contributor
How do I tell what is a symptom and what is just laziness?
I've been living in hope that my husband can change, but I'm starting to think that it's me who needs to make the change. Let me explain...
My husband of 10 years suffers from sychisoeffective disorder. He is not violent nor is he reckless, but over the years has been seemed to be less and less able to function when it comes to what I consider relatively simple tasks. He has lost that many jobs that we've made the decision not to pursue employment. But the deal was that he needed to take on a greater role around the house.
But somedays he struggles to do even that. We write a list of about 3 or 4 tasks for him to complete during the day, they are not hard things like cook dinner, vaccum the lounge room, wash the dishes pick up some groceries and occasionally mow the lawn. Some days he gets through the list other days he just lays on the lounge doing nothing, and all I get is tears and empty promises of doing better.
It is now at the point where it is effecting our marriage and I don't know how much more of this I can cope with.
I don't belive that I am asking too much of him nor do I think I'm without sympathy.
We recently tried changing medication and initially things got better but now we are just back to the same old situation.
So I guess my question is:
1. How do I tell what is a symptom and what is just laziness?
2. How do I deal with my own guilt at getting angry and frustrated?
3. When is enough enough and if he can't change how do I make the decision to seperated?
I love him but he is drowning both of us.
My husband of 10 years suffers from sychisoeffective disorder. He is not violent nor is he reckless, but over the years has been seemed to be less and less able to function when it comes to what I consider relatively simple tasks. He has lost that many jobs that we've made the decision not to pursue employment. But the deal was that he needed to take on a greater role around the house.
But somedays he struggles to do even that. We write a list of about 3 or 4 tasks for him to complete during the day, they are not hard things like cook dinner, vaccum the lounge room, wash the dishes pick up some groceries and occasionally mow the lawn. Some days he gets through the list other days he just lays on the lounge doing nothing, and all I get is tears and empty promises of doing better.
It is now at the point where it is effecting our marriage and I don't know how much more of this I can cope with.
I don't belive that I am asking too much of him nor do I think I'm without sympathy.
We recently tried changing medication and initially things got better but now we are just back to the same old situation.
So I guess my question is:
1. How do I tell what is a symptom and what is just laziness?
2. How do I deal with my own guilt at getting angry and frustrated?
3. When is enough enough and if he can't change how do I make the decision to seperated?
I love him but he is drowning both of us.
