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First time here

AnythingCasual Contributor26 Oct 2016, 6:15 pm AEDT

First time here

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I had chronic anxiety for many many years. Was diagnosed way too late at aged 30, with OCD. Had CBT then and went on meds, both of which helped a lot. I was on meds for 15 years, the last 5 of which I was slowly cutting down. I also found meditation helpful. I have been without medication for a couple of years and have been coping well for the last 6 years.

The worst things about anxiety for me were:

# worrying constantly about a particular circumstance

# obsessive thoughts about a particular person

# a feeling of urgency, that things have to be resolved right now!

# nausea

# fear of rejection

At one stage I was obsessed with one particular person for 10 years. Which was a sad waste of time.It has been great to be pretty much anxiety free for several years. But in the last few weeks I've started obsessing again about a particular person/ circumstance. I really hoped I'd never have to deal with this type of problem again. I don't want to waste another 10 years of my life on this. I'm really scared, as all the bad symptoms have come back.

I do think I'm better equipped to deal with it this time, as I am working, I'm not taking drugs, and I have a good friend to talk to....but still, it is very concerning. I can't talk about it freely because I'm too scared of what people will think.

People either think there's nothing wrong with me...or else they may think I'm dangerous, neither of which is true.

7 replies

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In response to: First time here

MoonGalSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

Hi @Anything, welcome to the forums. Sounds like you have done so well for a long time and now you are slipping into obsessive thinking a bit. Trying to not catastophise about what may be a smaller event might help you get on top of it faster and feel more confident about releiving the symptoms. Have you thought about potentially going to your MD and restarting the medication before it gets too on top of you?

What things have worked for you in the past when you start along this track?

Look forward t getting to know you better.

In response to: First time here

AnythingCasual Contributor26 Oct 2016, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes, I am trying not to catastrophise. I have also started meditating a bit again. Am going to the doctor on Friday to have my thyroid function tested. I have had low thyroid all year and it is probably time for me to start medication for that. Its possible this resurgence of anxiety is connected to the thyroid problem, although anxiety is mostly connected to high thyroid and depression is usually connected to low thyroid. Still, I want to see if going on thyroid meds improves my anxiety before I go back on anti- anxiety meds. Maybe in the meantime I could have a few sessions with a psychologist. Also I am considering trying to limit contact with the particular person, if I can do that without sacrificing too much of what's important to me. Again thank you so much for your reply. I feel much more human now

In response to: Re: First time here

Unknown userMember26 Oct 2016, 10:29 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

Hi Anything, Welcome to the forums. My name is Garfield and I'm one of the Moderators of forums. It is great that you have logged on as this is a great way to get support with this. It sounds like you are on a right track by seeing your doctor and thinking about seeing a psychologist as it is always a good idea to get a medical opinion on these things.

Please see community guidelines http://saneforums.org/t5/About-the-forum-including/Forum-Guides/m-p/105960#M1037for your future reference if needed.

Kind regards

Garfield

In response to: First time here

utopiaSenior Contributor27 Oct 2016, 12:25 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

@Anything. Well done for acknowledging that you may need help & that you think an old pattern may be recurring.
It's frightening when this happens. I'm currently struggling with a similar obsession / anxiety causing situation. I have an appointment with my psychologist this afternoon - so I'll be sure to let you know what he says about my situation. It may help with yours.
However, I'd suggest seeing your gp and getting a referral to a Psychologist - who maybe able to help you through this period - without needing to go back on your meds.
If however, these thoughts become more obsessive and if they interfere with your life - medication and/or a refresher in CBT - may be a good option.
How would you feel about talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist or taking medication again?

In response to: First time here

utopiaSenior Contributor27 Oct 2016, 6:09 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

@Anything. Well my appointment went great. My psychologist always helos ne to get to the real issue - the real question.
I'm not sure if this will help but - this new person - does he have the same core values as you? Does he have at least 4 out of your 5 core values? If not - then this person/situation is not for you.
What is it about this person that has you thinking about them? Is it the person or the feelings or dreams that you are fixated on?
A lot more questions could be asked. This is why I think it's important for you to speak to a therapist about this. Talk it out with them. Find out what's really going on with these thoughts.
You don't have to spend the next 10 years obsessing over this person.
The sooner you can get some specialist help - the sooner life will go back to normal.
I wish you all the best.

In response to: Re: First time here

AnythingCasual Contributor27 Oct 2016, 11:22 pm AEDT

Re: First time here

Thank you @Former-Member for your post. Thank you too @utopia.

Yes, I am looking forward to going to the doctor tomorrow. As well as discussing my thyroid situation I will get a referral to a psychologist. It would be helpful to revisit some CBT. I don't really want to go back on anti-anxiety meds, because they make me a bit nauseous. But I definitely will if I am still struggling constantly in a months time despite thyroid meds and psychologist sessions. ( The anxiety itself causes nausea anyway).

Yes, this person does share my core values, and he has also been very kind to me. I have always known that he is happily married to someone else so I have never indulged any sexual feelings, but I think an emotional dependency started happening and then suddenly a month ago I became overwhelmed with anxiety which has barely abated. Maybe it started with a fear of rejection, then it was a fear of offending him, then it was a fear of obsession itself and now its a fear of his wife. We mix in the same circles, so everytime I see one of them, a whole new wave of anxiety is unleashed. If I even see his name written anywhere, my heart starts hammering. I'm too scared to check FB in case I see one of his posts. I don't even want to go to his profile page so I can unfollow him, because I don't even want to see his profile picture once. I don't want to be triggered or reminded at all.

@utopia I'm glad your appointment went well. Please feel free to discuss your issues with me if you want to. Hopefully I'll soon be feeling a bit better and be able to support others a bit. Right now, i am just very grateful for your support.

@Anything

In response to: First time here

utopiaSenior Contributor28 Oct 2016, 12:57 am AEDT

Re: First time here

@Anything. Don't worry about suppirting others until you feel strong enough to do so. We don't make judgements on this site and are always available when someone is needing to talk.
I'm glad you are getting a referral from your gp. That's a great start. And you may be able to sort through this obsessive feeling without medication.
One step at a time and you will be fins.
I'd be happy to talk to you more tomorrow. But am tired now.

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