I wish someone had a backbone!

Oh gosh @Bossmum I absolutely see why you needed to get all of that out.

Thankyou for sharing & welcome to forums. 💜

So much going on for you. I could totally understand the picture you painted of what's happening for you in your household.

Your parents don't dare say anything to your older brother. He sounds like a dominant ticking time bomb - & they are scared to confront him.

Instead, you are copping all their frustrations... When really they should be talking to him!!

This is so unfair. And you have little ones you are doing your best to mother amongst all this.

You are definately a bossmum - amazing!!!

I wish I had good advice for you.

I thankyou for sharing your story.

Maybe other members will give good advice.

All, I can say is that Mum's are superhuman!💜 I don't know how you are doing so much....& Putting up with all this crap.

I really wish things can get better for you. Please vent on here, as much as you need This sounds like you are at your breaking point..I don't blame you at all. Definately your pizza. I'm sorry this is happening.

Thank you so much for the reply! It really means alot to know I am allowed to feel the way I do, no one ever let's that happen.

Im also having a tough time between working 6 days a week only for 3 hours a night but I have to leave my kids with my parents and I hate it! Like for example my seven year old tells me that nanny sent her to the servo by herself which is 5 houses and a main road to cross away.sorry but I think that's not okay but if I say anything then my mum starts attacking me, trying to deflect and flip it somehow so I'm the one in the wrong!?!

My relationship at the moment is as toxic as they can get! All my relationships have been with either a schizophrenic narcissist, a psychopath and recently a sociopath. All abusive, had police involved at one point or another with all three! Again I always feel so helpless like what can I actually do different to get out or away from these people and situations?I want too so badly but have no idea how! I'm just learning about undiagnosed ADHD in adults and it seems to explain alot, for me anyway... Feeling overwhelmed all time is really taking its toll....

Of course you have a right to feel this way. I'm so sorry that you haven't been acknowledged b4. This isn't right. Thankyou for expressing ur gratitude. I don't know if I'm saying the right thing to people. I'm glad it helped.

No, this is not right letting 7 year old walk to servo. Dangerous in many ways. I cannot believe you are going thru this. I don't want to sound 'preachy' as I do not know you, or your circumstances - You must ensure your child is SAFE. This is unacceptable.

I'm not saying that to be mean or hurt you. All children deserve to be protected always ❤️

You sound very smart, & have good awareness of what's going on. You understand the problems & unfairness of situation. Even have insight into your own ADHD & maybe why is been difficult for you. These are amazing qualities!!

I hear that you are completely overwhelmed. It sounds very normal reaction - I don't think I could cope with what you have described. You must be incredibly powerful & strong.

I think you need support. You are capable, smart - the people around you.. Not so much!!.. By the sounds of it. I'm so sorry.

There will be peer workers around during day who can maybe suggest support for you? @hanami

Maybe their are charity organisations that can help with day care. Or, you can talk thru stuff, to help you feel in control.

Sorry, I don't know the answers. I think your doing a great thing, reaching out here💜 Please look after your babies - they are the most precious, important ones ❤️

I don't know how you get out. Talking is good. Look after you!

Your welcome and I can't speak for anyone else but your replies are helping me and I'm so glad finally someone agrees with me and isn't trying to argue with me and justify how I'm wrong and belittle me, confuse, upset and overwhelm me. I know I am right when It comes to my kids happiness and well being, even if I saw a child by themselves out on the street I would panic and have to make sure they're okay!?! It hurts me to the core that my child was in that situation, that my mother could be so careless and think nothing of it. When I tried to explain to her, she didn't want to hear it and it was really hard to keep it from getting heated and turning into a personal attack against me!

I really want to get help but I don't know what that looks like and I'm scared that of hard it will be to achieve what I want and need to do in order for myself and my kids to be happy. I can't do that here, my mum is like my personally bully. Or what I call the opposite of a cheerleader... Anytime I have an idea and have shared it with her thinking I'd be supported, I am quickly reminded why it's better not to tell her in the first place as she will hit me with a low blow comment to knock my confidence, then my capabilities, and flood me with all the negatives! I was telling my daughter earlier coz she was sad about how she hurt her foot when I was at work and nanny didn't even care. My daughter can exaggerate a little bit but I sympathized with her and told her my whole life if I ever hurt myself and cried about it, my parents never gave me a hug n kiss and said sorry and it will be okay. If I hurt my foot they would say "we'll get the doctor to chop it off at the knee" thinking it would make me tough but doing it all the time didn't feel good... Still doesn't, I don't know of a time where my mum said to me " I love you" it's always about her or what I'm not doing in her time!

Hi @Bossmum I see where you are coming from, but your mum has enough on her plate maybe ?

Perhaps you could put the pizza away?

Sure it wont go off (preservatives) but thats not the point.

Sounds very crowded there.

Hope you can work out a solution

I can sense that this is beyond your ability to think of ways to deal with this problem, @Bossmum. I feel for you. I'm my family's scapegoat, too, but I must admit, my sibs have similarly difficult circumstances, yet neither wants to try to help me fix our dysfuntional family. It's insufferable in every sense.

You obviously are in a difficult situation and need family support with your children. I am not in that position so I don't have any pointers. I wonder if there are other single parent groups you could contact, and emergency housing you could apply for—if you haven't already. You need your space, without family friction, which sounds like it is the way your family interacts. They are difficult circumstances to live in, even when families are harmonious.

I can only send best wishes, @Bossmum.

It's more the point of i can cough wrong and I'm made to feel like my existence is a constant burden on my parents but my brother can basically piss everywhere and they do nothing about it! I can be crying hysterically, shaking and my dad would say what's wrong with you H*** [edited by moderator to remove name], stop it... Mum would focus and point out that is was my fault or I'm wrong or take the other side, aren't parents ment to have your back even if U are wrong? Not mine, they're first people to talk badly about me even though I pay my way, I work and try to be a good mum which is really hard with constant reminders of how useless you are and lazy etc

I know, @Bossmum, my parents told lies about me, and I have no idea of the full extent of the stories that have been made up about me, or what I am supposed to have said or done. They have been instrumental in ensuring my daughters and I remain alienated, then they passed themselves off as 'dear old souls'. I have no way of coming to terms with the damage they did to me. My family is so screwed up and, because they were victims themselves, I am continually torn between love and understanding, and intense hatred of them. How do families just go on as if all is well in this dysfunction? They have been gone for decades and the trauma is as real as if it all happened yesterday.

Yes, @Bossmum, parents are supposed to have our backs—even when we are wrong—and so are sibs. Families are supposed to look out for each other. I try to bring about teamwork in mine, with everyone knowing his or her place in it—to no avail. What on earth do we do?

I wish I had answers for you. I understand your trauma and how I wish our lives were much simpler.