New here

Hi there @Tanny_wanny

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you found us and also glad that you have appointments with a GP and psychiatrist. It will be good for you to get some answers about what you're experiencing and how to move forward. I can relate some of what you describe and have a diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder but am able to accept this and move forward. It's not easy and you'll have ups and downs but rest assured there is HOPE! There is always hope and this is a great little community to help you with those ups and downs.

When are your appointments with the GP and psychiatrist?

Have you checked out our social spaces https://saneforums.org/t5/Social-Spaces/bd-p/le-forum-0003 ?

I'll tag a few members here who are great at warm welcomes 😊

Hanami

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @outlander @NatureLover @ShiningStar

Thankyou for your lovely warm welcome Hanami. X

I have felt like this for as long as I remember (47yo). I finally reached out and am waiting for an appointment time for the psychiatrist.

I feel like I am so clingy and over bearing, yet so independent and headstrong. Teetertottling is the only way to describe it.

My brain is in hyperdrive and Im always overthinking everyone’s actions and reactions. Xx

Yep teetertottering is a way I would describe how I used to feel too!

I totally get it. My brain was constantly in overdrive. I now take medication which has totally helped. It may be an option for you or maybe not. But there is definitely help there for you and you are in no way alone in this. I still get days where I feel this way.

Warmest wishes

Hanami

I'm weirdly envious of you @Tanny_wanny . There's something special about the "aha moment". You get to be more "right" and less "wrong" at exactly the same moment. When a blind-spot gets removed, the colours. Oh the colours! I'm wishing you fine and productive revelations.

Timelines can be helpful when it comes to picking a diagnosis. A time-saver, even.

Listing what working is also good data. Not only a clearer picture but also for the sake of being positive.

It's worth noting that once you work out the bugs are, working out the fix is a whole other stage of questions. Different kinds of "aha"s as well.

You're making me think I should put, get more "aha" moments, on my recovery plan.

Sounds like you are describing my former self @Tanny_wanny ! I hear how frustrating it is to be frustrated with your own self. For me, feeling void and empty was the hardest.

It seems you have significant insight into what’s happening for you which you can discuss with your GP.

Happy to connect with you if you have any questions. Also, sounds like you live in a more rural area in that you have a “visiting psychiatrist’”? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Thankyou wellwellwellnez, Its been a long slow struggle, always feeling not quite right and never really feeling at peace. I can’t wait to start the process of retraining my negative Nancy brain. The funny thing is that Im always so positive for everyone else and can always see them in a positive light, but when it comes to myself - im always seeking validation from others.

I am hoping for many more aha moments and I do hope you get some too. Xx

Hi BPDsurvivor,

yes, its the most awful feeling. Its like not ever knowing who you truly are. Just emptiness.. and always seeking validation from others and for them to fill up my empty cup which also has a hole in the bottom and continues to empty no matter hope much it is filled.

Yes, Im in a rural town in Australia. We have a visiting psychiatrist who comes here monthly. Im also happy to travel the 3 hours to the city for an early appointment. I feel like I really need this. I understand a diagnosis isn’t the be or end all. But I definitely need some talking therapy and retrain this brain of mine. I am fairly certain and will be very surprised if I am not diagnosed with BPD. I have been doing a lot of Reading of late and i certainly fit all the criteria.

I hope there is a nice calm light at the end of the tunnel. What therapy has helped you?

I find what is worst for me is my clinging to people, I always have a favourite person who I constantly seek validation from and this makes me become needy and then I feel guilty and angry and then text lots of apologies and then the circle starts over again.

My moods also change lightening last from extreme happiness to extreme sadness over anything involving people. Could be something someone said which I take the wrong way or something someone did.

Its like I experience every emotion within the day to extreme.

Thankyou all for being so welcoming and supportive. Xx

Hey there @Tanny_wanny

Welcome to the forums! I just wanted to reach out and say that I absolutely relate to a lot of things that you have mentioned in your original post, and that I hope you can get some clarity through your GP about what the next steps might be for you in this journey. It is really great that you are taking the initiative for yourself and that you have noticed that this is something that needs to be worked upon.

When is your appointment? I would love to hear how it went!

All the best,

Amber22