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bad at relaionships

BillieContributor24 Oct 2016, 10:37 pm AEDT

bad at relaionships

I was with someone that felt like my soul mate, although we were together for only a short ime, it was such a strong connection. After a night of drinking, the alcohol sent me into a very depressive state and I started telling him of my thoughts of self-harm and became hysterical.

Understandably he freaked out, and decided to end it. I am just so frustrated with myself that I do this. I ruined everything, but I cant help it, the thoughts and urges are out of my control. I dont feel that I am capable of having a normal healthy relationship. It breaks my heart to know that I ruined something that was once so good.

8 replies

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In response to: bad at relaionships

KurraSenior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 10:43 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

Give it time @Billie. It may not be as bad as you think.<br>Use your music to express your feelings. Often making music can often help us to get rid of some of those feelings that are so hard to put into words. Take care 🎶

In response to: Re: bad at relaionships

BillieContributor24 Oct 2016, 10:46 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

thank you @Kurra, having a avenue to get some of it makes my chest makes it a little better

In response to: bad at relaionships

KurraSenior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 10:50 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

I'm pleased that you're finding it helpful posting on this site.!
I use my music to escape the messier parts of my world. It's a great way to escape for a while. Try immersing yourself in your music making. I dind it magical 🎶

In response to: Re: bad at relaionships

BillieContributor24 Oct 2016, 11:07 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

i am trying, anything to distract myself from the guilt.

In response to: Re: bad at relaionships

AppleblossomSenior Contributor25 Oct 2016, 12:30 am AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

I am a bit the same @Billie If I feel some rapport ... so much of me comes tumbling out ... that I dont know how to put the brakes on ... and take it slower so that each party in the relationship can take in what has been shared bit by bit .. and gain an idea of hot to relate to each other.

Like @Kurra I do music to help as well.

Hang in there

In response to: Re: bad at relaionships

BillieContributor25 Oct 2016, 9:08 am AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

Thanks @Appleblossom, its nice to know im not the only one with this problem. I opened up so much and it didnt even dawn on me that it would be damaging. But this was all before BPD diagnosis, so I guess knowing that I do this can make me think twice.

All the best 🙂

In response to: bad at relaionships

KalliadesContributor26 Oct 2016, 2:48 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

Hey Billie, just wanted to let you know how much I can relate to feeling that you're not capable of having a normal healthy relationship. I admire you for putting yourself out there and trying to make it work despite how hard it is. Hopefully one day I will be brave enough to give it a go too.
Dont be disheartened by this setback. If a guy cannot handle being told how you feel, then he's probably not right for you. You shouldnt have to pretend everything is alright to keep him around. Thats my opinion at least.

In response to: Re: bad at relaionships

BillieContributor26 Oct 2016, 8:49 pm AEDT

Re: bad at relaionships

Thank you @Kalliades, that honestly made my day. I have felt different all my life, and it just means so much to know im not alone. Yours words have really put everything into perspective, i shouldnt have to hide how im feeling for someone else.

I hope that one day you wont feel like this either. All the best 🙂

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