@Basmith - I went through the journey of wanting to read everything & yet nothing when I was first diagnosed. Here's my experience:
- I found it annoying when friends or family went off, read things & then came back with comments, POVs or as if they suddenly learnt something. My condition wasn't circus entertainment or a reason for them to learn a new topic, I simply needed support. I wanted them to gently 'check in' or ask if I wanted to receive an article vs them texting me a link.
- I found "self help" books either patronising or too gentle with me. It's an incredibly hard thing to live with but I wanted advice on actions to take vs permission to wallow in self pity. I was already trapped in that vortex. I wasn't strong enough to take action, rejected them all in my mind, but some part of my survival instinct wanted to know what they were if I ever regained strength.
- I did enjoy & feel safe reading scientific research. It was objective, factual, by doctors & academics contributing - unpaid! - to the world vs trying to make money through book sales.
I LOVED:
- A book called "A First Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links between Leadership & Mental Illness", by Nassir Ghaemi. Each chapter is about a fascinating world leader throughout history & how their assumed craziness helped change the world. It doesn't glorify them, but doesn't vilify them either.
- The BBC produced documentary by Stephen Fry called "The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive" available on YouTube. Hunt around for a high quality version & you should be looking for Part 1 & Part 2. I think an hour each. He tells his journey which is heartbreaking & lays bare the self hatred we all go through but he's also compassionate to himself. He travels the globe to meet & interview others. Many are famous, several are not & within each of their stories you'll see parts of your own. At the end of each interview he asks the question, "If you could go back in time & live a life with this condition or without this condition, what would you choose?". A brilliant, beautiful, deeply personal & reflective question. I asked my family to watch this.
- THE GREATEST MOVIE/DOCUMENTARY YOU'LL EVER SEE - Is called "Andy Irons: Kissed by God". The story of a world champion surfer. It was release in cinemas; it's movie level quality. My life still sucks but my shackles broke free by learning about "Pre manic brilliance". It was my missing link. It explained why I've been sporadically radically successful on & off in life & how the world so greatly rewarded me during those phases & then took it all away.
https://youtu.be/GJWIPRvtAHk
Good luck, go at your own pace & don't put too much pressure on yourself to make sense of everything. You'll likely go back & revisit things over time.