Daily struggles

@KindHeartedSoul, I'm of the understanding that, sometimes, intrusive 'voices' originate from our interpersonal relationships. Perhaps your 'friends' aren't friends at all.

No one understands what I’m really struggling with aside from me and more than often I find it hard to explain what’s truly going on in my head…

this morning I had that really intrusive thoughts and urges to a point that I was scared that I will act on it, if wasn’t for people being in my house when I got home, I would’ve acted on it without hesitation… I instead forced myself to sleep just to prevent me from acting on the urges.. Now that I’ve woken up and soon have to get ready for work again, the thoughts and urges are persistent than this morning… I’m tossing on whether I should take a pill or two with the hope of controlling it but the risk of that would be not being able to stop myself into just taking one… so now I’m stuck again as to what I should do…

Hi @KindHeartedSoul,

I can read the pain in your post - I am really sorry that you are feeling this way. Do you have someone that you can talk to that can be with you at this time? Do you have a GP you can contact today? I would really encourage you to also reach out to a crisis line for support. You don't have to go through this alone, there are many organisation that are available 24/7 to help support you through these feelings including:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Although we are here to support our members unfortunately the Forums aren’t a counselling or crisis service so if you do need immediate support please reach out to one of the services above.

I will also send you an email to check in with you. Please respond to it as soon as you can.

Warm regards,

FloatingFeather

hi there @KindHeartedSoul, it's nice to meet you ❤️ I'm so sorry that these thoughts have become so strong again. I just wanted to check-in and see how you're going this evening?

I know when I've been in that position, it's almost like riding a wave. Like you've done, I used to try to distract myself, or fill the time until the thoughts passed. I recently saw this app which can help ride the wave It's called Calm Harm.

Are there other strategies or supports you can use when things are so difficult?

@Former-Member I’m doing DBT atm (this is the third time tho… hoping to finally finish the whole therapy) so I’m trying to use the skills I’ve learned so far… but even then often they seem to just work for a little bit and then I’m back in that mindset again… when that happens more likely I am to act on the thoughts and urges… coz I feel like nothing will help but to do it…

I’ve got NDIS support on some days and during office hours, after that I have to rely on the crisis helplines… I can’t and choose not to call my local ACT as I feel that they’re not hearing me nor are they willing to go thru any lengths to help me coz I feel that they see me as a joke.

tonight that suicide note is in my head thinking what does it mean, it may mean that my way of venting or is it a bad thing? Being at work helps distract me but the suicidal ideation and urges are there, the voices are constantly nags and very intrusive even whilst I’m at work.. 😞

Good evening @KindHeartedSoul how are you?

I just thought I'd check-in because I've been off the forums for a few days.

I really hear from you about the skills working for a little while and then falling off. Why do you think that is?

I struggle with something similar, but for different reasons. With ADHD, setting up good routines can be hard and maintaining them is another difficulty! I often know that a routine or activity is good for me, but after a little while, it can just drop off a little bit. I know it's not the same, but I think I kinda understand.

I'm wondering if you've spoken about this with your DBT group or if the pros/cons worksheet from DBT could be useful to try to reconnect with why the skills are useful?

❤️