Sophie1Senior Contributor
Advice needed - on eggshells and don’t know how to help my partner
Hi All
@outlander @Smc @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @Hams @Appleblossom
advice needed -— I haven’t been in ‘carer’ mode for a while and not sure how drastic my actions need to be right now..
- should I take carers leave this week and focus on my partner (see concerns below) or should i return to work ?
- how can I best support my partner now ?
It’s been a while since I reached out. My partner MsS is not doing so well. We may have to wait to mid Jan to see her psychiatrist.
My partner has PTSD, bipolar, depression, generalised anxiety, and chronic migraines.
We just came home from a week interstate with her family who she hadn’t seen for a year. One of her parents is very unwell and it shocked her deeply to see the decline and also the possible ‘neglect’ re their care as the family seems in denial re the extent of deterioration. It upset her on many levels and now she is withdrawn, teary, big migraine and anything I say triggers her to cry or accuse me of ‘wrong tone of voice’ , ‘being selfish’ , ‘being aggressive’ , etc …
during the trip she had multiple confronting conversations with her mother, siblings and I witnessed what I think may be mania starting again … she didn’t seem to be able to read social cues, she over shared to strangers frequently , was rude to her siblings, and ranted a lot at them. She also strangely had very slow speech and re-enacted her stories to family in slow drawn out manner - they were very patient (except her mum who is aggressive herself). It was hard to see her so socially unaware of others and herself.
I am very concerned about her and only today confided in my best friend and also my partners sister re my concerns.
I am at the end of my fuse - so hard walking on eggshells - esp when I’m tired from the trip too, our house is dirty/messy/cluttered and I have to go back to work on Tuesday.
im afraid if I go back to work she will just hide in her room all week and not seek help or attend appointments. If I take a few days off then maybe I can take her to appts if we can get them earlier, encourage her to do some gentle pleasant activities and help make her feel safe again - she’s seems to be in complete defensive , disaster, victim and combat mode.
how have others supported their loved ones through these times ?? What is the best thing I can do or not do ??
