@Loz_3647
Just resonating with your post and Munch's Scream.
Munch - The Scream
I like that it is wordless.
Its really hard.
There is a limit to what people on the forum can do.
In some ways that can be a good in that we cannot jump to interfere and call in the coppers for a welfare check or something like that. Not sure exactly what Sane protocols are behind the scenes. Sometimes it is good to be able to vent without fear of escalation in services.
That Sane is not a crisis service means the help we can give is limited, but it can also be worthwhile, if you can see as a bunch of people struggling just like you rather, people with ALL the answers and responsibility. That gives you some options to engage in ways that matter to you. Start new threads, join in on old ones. Say a lot. Say a bit.
Do what you have to do to get yourself in a better place. I have had Suicidal thoughts rattling around in my head for nearly 40 years ... I get very tired of it ... weary sigh ...