FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse

DID82Contributor

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse

Hey guys

just wondering if others in this situation have had the same experience because I feel bad and just want to know if it’s normal. When I went through it the guy who did it I looked up to and he filled a father figure hole I needed. I was also bullied a lot and so I didn’t want to lose this guy and thought he actually really cared about me. Though at times I was scared I was also like I don’t want to lose him either. One time my body reacted in a way I’m ashamed of and I had a thought I regret. I started to get into trouble all the time where as before I didn’t and myself and another kid my age started having some more minor sexualised behaviours at the time. I just hate that I actually liked this guy and looked up to him and let things happen and responded in that way. I should have been completely disgusted and just in fear of him. Everything just started so minor and seemed a bit odd but it just continued to grow and by that stage it seemed too late to do anything. Am I normal in these responses or should I feel ashamed?

thanks DID82 🥺

6 replies

1 - 6 of 6
1

In response to: Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse

tymeModerator

Re: Sexual abuse

Hey @DID82 ,

Thank you for sharing.

I'm sorry you had to go through this situation. Abuse of any kind is NOT okay.

So should you be ashamed? No. Whatever the behaviour, abuse is NOT okay.

Sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Sexual abuse

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Sexual abuse

@DID82

Glad you have found the forum. Hope you find support on here.

No your responses are your simply responses and are not wrong. Older people grooming young ones and taking advantage of them sexually is the problem. It is often the ones most in need of a friendly ear that are targeted.

I have just finished a book published in 2019 about the priests, Catholic church, enquiries and Royal Commission. I also gave submissions to them.

Take Care of yourself.

Do you have a counsellor?

In response to: Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse

Loz_3647Senior Contributor

Re: Sexual abuse

TW: Sexual Abuse

Content/trigger warning
I was groomed and then sexually abused from age 11 to 14. I enjoyed the fact that someone noticed me, and with already having quite sexualising behaviours myself, it became a situation I thought I had under control into something that was completely beyond my control, and even for an adult. I did whatever because I didn't want to loose him. He got my addicted to drugs and so I became reliant on him for not only sexual desires, but for mental/emotional desires. I have days (most) where I hate myself for what I did...then I have days where I miss him....I have days where I absolutely hate him....its confusing as fu(k...but it doesn't make any of it right, or my fault (which even though I say that, is very difficult to believe)....you are normal and shouldn't be ashamed

In response to: Re: Sexual abuse

tymeModerator

Re: Sexual abuse

Thank you @Loz_3647 for sharing. Your honest portrayal of what has happened has really opened my eyes to the real feelings.

I really appreciate your post.

In response to: Re: Sexual abuse

DID82Contributor

Re: Sexual abuse

Yes i do have someone to talk to in that counselling field. I finally opened up and told them about what I felt towards this guy and how I had placed him in a father figure role etc and they spoke to

me and normalised it and continued to support me not being in the wrong. But because I have believed it for so long it was hard to accept and I just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences to help me accept that it wasn’t my fault because back when it happened I was blamed so I’m looking for answers

In response to: Re: Sexual abuse

DID82Contributor

Re: Sexual abuse

Thank you that helps to know that I’m not the only one who has felt like that. That I’m ok I’m not a bad person thank you
1 - 6 of 6
1

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.