Help please. TW: suicidal thoughts

Hi @CPTSDGirl ,

I'm sorry to hear what has happened in the last three weeks.

Relationships can be an anchor in life - provide purpose, meaning and connection.

Yet through my own experiences, I've also learnt that for relationships to be successful, I needed to first be comfortable in my own skin. Otherwise, my satisfaction and 'happiness' was reliant on others - and this, I did not want.

Life is a mystery. It can through unexpected darts when you least expect it. And with what has happened, it sounds like grief has a place.

Life is worth living. The end of one journey is the beginning of incredible things that await.

I'm sitting with you today.

Kindest, tyme

Hi @CPTSDGirl . Sorry to hear about your breakup.

I'm afraid I can't offer any satisfying answers or solutions for your plight. But I can relate to it very much.

I've been single my whole life, and like you, I just can't see the point. I went in to therapy, hoping it would ultimately lead to me being united with my future wife. My therapist eventually decreed that I'd never have a loving relationship; but that I was also not aloud to 'end things' on my own terms, as doing so would be "selfish" and inflict a whole heap of misery upon other people, which would be all my fault.

It's horrid doctrine, IMHO, but this is the world we live in.

I wish there was something I could do to help, but I'm afraid I'm at a loss.

Sending you best wishes for a happy outcome, in any event. 🙂🤗

@CPTSDGirl Do you see any benefits to being single? I think the amount of freedom and Independence is wonderful. Take yourself out when ever you want. Do what ever you want and spend unlimited amount of time doing hobbies and immersing yourself in what ever you choose.

Maybe you can embrace that for a bit. You will get another relationship. Enjoy the unlimited freedom while you have it. Now is the time to spend time with yourself. A relationship will come later. Enjoy!

You're actually in my wheelhouse @CPTSDGirl . If anything, my struggle is being comfortable enough to let attachments form. I'd love to give advice, but only take half on board or you could end up over in my extreme.

I think the key is internal dialogue. When we're alone we tend to be able to hear our own voices better (or invent them more to bring boredom down). The thing about talking to yourself is we're able to understand ourselves in ways that other people never really can. It's a special kind of scary but it's also a special kind of reward.

I'd also maybe say something for the ultra-social side of things, like community, culture and other big big big groups. That's also a special way of identifying with others.

Part of me wants to turn the question around back on you @CPTSDGirl .

I find it hard to know how to share space with people. I'll find myself trying to good enough and end up feeling empty. I figure I'm either not doing it right or it could just be about finding the capacity.

No pressure to solve my issue. I'm kind of thinking out loud. Though, I'd welcome insight if it's available.

It does seem in ways that fear of people and fear of loneliness both come down to being okay with who you are, or something.