Hi @Spacey
I just wanted to reach out to welcome you to the forums - it’s great to have you here 💜
Oh spacey 💜 I’m so deeply sorry to hear that you’ve experienced so much trauma throughout your life and I just wanted to say that I think that you’re incredibly brave to share this part of your story with us 💜
Given everything that’s happened to you, it makes so much sense that one of the only ways that you could survive what was happening around you was ‘to drown it out’ and as such, I can really appreciate how there are so many blank and empty spaces when you reflect on the earlier parts of your life 💜
It can be incredibly scary and confusing when our world suddenly comes crashing down around us - especially when there have been periods of time where we no longer feel ‘phased’ by some of the things that have happened to us and it feels as though our lives are moving back on track.
In my experience, being flooded with so many painful memories and deep seated feelings of shame, guilt and remorse can be absolutely debilitating and as such, I can really appreciate how all of these things are impacting how safe and comfortable you feel to reach out to a Therapist for some support 💜
Over the years, I’ve met so many people who wrestle with the feelings that you’ve described and in my experience, talking about trauma can be incredibly confronting. As such, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that it’s completely understandable that you feel scared and uncomfortable about the prospect of talking with someone about your experiences 💜
As strange as it may sound, one of the challenges for me was that I didn’t know how to talk about my experiences, as for the most part, I’d never had the opportunity. Therefore, although a part of me desperately wanted support, talking about some of the things that had happened to me in my life, was a foreign experience.
I was also terrified about what would happen if I participated in these conversations. For example, would I collapse in a heap? Would I be impacted to the point where I wouldn’t be able to cope with everyday life? How would people respond to me if I shared my story with them?
As such, one of the things that I found really helpful was asking my Therapist to explain how we would work through the trauma. Through doing so, I was not only able to get a clearer understanding of what to expect, but I was also able to explore and work through some of my fears and concerns - which I found really helpful 💜
In the beginning, talking about the trauma was much too scary and overwhelming, and as such, I decided that it would be a little bit easier to choose a safer place to start. Therefore, instead of talking specifically about the trauma that I’d experienced, we focused on addressing some of the other issues associated with the trauma that were also causing me significant distress, such as my low mood and anxiety.
Therefore, choosing a safer place to start not only helped me to begin to receive the care and support that I so desperately needed, but it also provided me with the opportunity to develop a really strong therapeutic relationship with my Therapist which helped to create the foundation that I needed to be able to work through the trauma that I’d experienced.
Given everything that’s happening for you, I just ever so gently wondered if the opportunity to receive some additional support over the telephone and / or via online chat, may be a slightly safer way for you to be able to take another step towards accessing the care and support that you need and deserve 💜
As such, I just wanted to take a moment to share a few resources with you 💜
The first resource that comes to mind is an organisation called Blue Knot 💜
Basically, Blue Knot provides support for adults who have experienced childhood trauma and abuse.
One of the ways that they support people is through the Blue Knot Helpline which is staffed by specialist trauma counsellors who provide short term counselling support, information and referrals for people who are looking for ongoing support 💜
In addition to the above, they also provide a wealth of resources and information in relation to topics such as understanding trauma and abuse, self-care and coping strategies.
I’ve contacted the Helpline on several occasions and I’ve always had a really positive experiences, where I felt listened to, validated and supported 😊
If this is something that you feel may be helpful for you, you can contact the Helpline on: 1300 657 380.
They operate Monday to Sunday (including public holidays) from 9.00am until 5.00pm AEST.
You can also email them at: helpline@blueknot.org.au
I’ve just provided the link to their website below in case you would like to explore this further:
https://blueknot.org.au/
The other resource that I thought may be helpful for you is an organisation called 1800Respect 💜
Basically, 1800RESPECT provide telephone and online counselling, information and support for people who have experienced domestic, family and sexual violence.
I’ve just provided the link to their website below in case you would like to explore this further 😊
https://www.1800respect.org.au/
If you would like to reach out to 1800RESPECT, you can contact them on:
1800 737 732 (H) They provide support 24 hours a day, seven days a week 💜
They also provide online chat if this is something that feels more comfortable for you 💜
Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @Spacey that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊
I hope that this helps you a little bit 😊
Please know that you’re always welcome to reach out to us here whenever you need to 💜
Take kind and gentle care of yourself,
ShiningStar 💜
