27 and Life without Alcohol

@James17

Its hard when it is readily available and socially acceptable. I struggled to give up tobacco smoking when it was very common. I knew I had finally quit (after many attempts) when I could socialise with smokers and not feel tempted. For some reason alcohol was never my poison.

Take care and welcome to the forum

Hi @James17

Welcome to the forums😊

Thanks for sharing & being so open about what is going on for you.

I guess the thing that struck me most about your post is the line 'i drink for the same reasons anyone else does.'

Initially I was confused! And then as you went on to clarify, I just felt astounded at the clarity & insight you showed

I guess working as an RN has helped in that aspect

I think it also goes to show what an awful disease addiction is. You are clearly aware - & yet it still has a pull on you.

I'm applauding you for reaching out here. Another choice you have made to empower yourself!

Are you linked in with any drug/alcohol services? I am ignorant in terms of the help & support they could provide. Is there someone you are linked in with that you can talk to, when you are having your 'now what?' moments?

I hope you continue to reach out here. Congratulations on your sobriety.

@James17 You just keep going a day at a time, choosing to move towards what you want in life. Well done, as a child of an alcoholic I think you have done amazingly well. You don’t need it to make real human connections or to have fun.

I am doing a lot of work on past trauma, it isn’t easy but does seem to be getting easier the further along I get and the more I understand why I am who I am.

Hi again @James17

I was thinking more about how you said, that you're main trigger now, is boredom.

Personally, I'm thinking that those feelings are really our mind, or inner self trying to tell us that we are searching for fulfillment that we haven't found yet.

For me, substance use was a way to deal with debilitating anxiety. I still suffer & am still searching for ways to overcome that are not destructive.

It sounds like you may have overcome your initial reasons that you started drinking. However, now - you are left with a void that is difficult to fill at times.

In this thread

https://saneforums.org/t5/Useful-resources/The-book-Minding-your-Mind-comes-highly-recommended/m-p/1225828#M2961

@PositivePossum6 mentioned a book that has helped them.

Similarly to what @Flotsam said

the further along I get and the more I understand why I am who I am.

Maybe the 'boredom' you are taking about could be interpreted as a suggestion in finding out more about you?

What things in life make you feel fulfilled?

Watching live theatre, music, nature etc.

Maybe personal development can help you find out?

Maybe you can find an outlet that nurtures you?

I haven’t drunk alcohol for about 4 years straight. Occasionally I feel like having a drink again when I feel a bit left out and alone and it is so so so true that socialising is a lot easier for a drinker.. but I maintain sobriety based on knowing that it’s short lived and that I’d rather make few meaningful long term connections.

Life without alcohol is great. But very different. I had to find another life without alcohol. I live by my values and when I stick with those values that are important to me life gets much simpler.

I don’t say I’ll never drink again (because if I do I know I’ll start again). Rather say “I don’t drink”. Means saying it to both someone and myself (gently reinforcing).

I can confirm when you start making good decisions all the time you start to feel good about yourself.

I'm much quieter since I stopped drinking. Ditched those friends who had a problem with it. Have a small wonderful group I hangout one on one with - people I have chosen to care about.

All the best.