Domestic Violence Survivor

Hi there @Urdujap

Welcome to the forums! I've not been in your situation but I do believe you're a survivor. I've got three very good friends who were all in abusive relationships for years. My husband and socialised with them and their partners and didn't know what was going on. I kind of had some slight feelings about them being in abusive relationships but could never be sure. I did try to ask if they were ok and to reach out if they needed me but they all denied anything was happening. These three women were high functioning mothers who all had good jobs outside of the home. When I found out the extent of what they'd been through (when they had finally had enough and got out), I was shocked. I will NEVER speak to their partners again as I feel what they put my friends through was unforgiveable. They are all soldiering on despite the scars from years of emotional abuse. The extent of domestic abuse in our society makes me truly sick. These men are disgusting cowards. It WILL be a long road ahead but you're on your way.

Sending big hugs

Hanami

Hey @Urdujap,

Just read your post about DV. Well done in taking the first steps. The steps are harder than the incline on Mount Everest but you have started the journey 🏔 I also have been a DV survivor and at times for awhile I was really unsure if I was making the right decision. I was. I hope you can find some support and motivation when you need it here on the forums 💜

Hi @Urdujap ,

Your attitude and view of things already makes you a survivor.

Your post has been an inspiration to me and I'm so glad you have trusted us enough to share it with the community.

Please take care,

tyme

@Urdujap

It's a good thing that you are aware what is waiting ahead, and that you have strength to go through it. It gives us a sense of control and confidence when we are going through very tough time but can still move on with our life. Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to the community. You're absolutely correct that it is worth it to take time to heal. It will not be easy as nothing is but totally worth it. It might be helpful if you're also aware of the reminders that can trigger for your mind to feel angry, resentful, and/or depressed towards past domestic violent event. Have you worked on strategies that will rescue you when the trigger comes? What are they? (You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable to. I'm just asking that as I'm hoping it will help you plan things in your head for your journey of healing 🙂 ) The freedom is yours to find out what works and doesn't work for you. Take care of yourself and once again welcome to the community!

Hi,

I am going through this and am on my way to leaving, this is my goal anyway. I get sucked back in when he begins being nice to me, but then the nasty side of him is exposed much quicker and longer than before. I hope in a few months to be going through the no contact phase, this is just the begining of my journey. Well done and thank you for sharing.

Hey @Timeformenow same to you, well done for taking those steps forward and for reaching out to others 😊

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