Trying to recover

Welcome, @Trying777 , it's good to have you here. I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, and for what you're going through 😞

I wonder if you have any professional support for your grief? Like a psychologist or counsellor?

There is also Griefline: 1300 845 745, but if you are suffering SH (self-harm) then I would think a counsellor or psychologist might help more...

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

@NatureLover, thank you for your response!

I’ve had professional help in the past, although not since my dads death. I hadn’t self harmed in 7 years so I really never thought I would again.

I am planning to see my GP next week and go on a mental health plan and hopefully I can get some professional help that way, as I can’t really afford to go private at this moment in time.

Dear @Trying777 ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. It is so brave of you to reach out and share you story, and even more courageous to know how much you are trying to better yourself and recover.

There is no timeline for grief. Your feelings surrounding your father's death are valid as well as the impact it has had on your life since then.

Do you have supports to help you through what can be considered a trauma? It is so important to be able to feel safe in reaching out.

If you'd every like to speak to SANE's wonderful counsellors, you can phone them on 1800 187 263 (Mon-Fri 10am-10pm AEDT). You can also contact Griefline https://griefline.org.au/

I look forward to hearing from you and hope the forums provide you some refuge and support.

Please take care, tyme

@Trying777

It sounds like you reached a tipping point.

Oh the irony and pressures of being a mum! We get to see and deal with all the pooey stuff but usually put such high expectations on ourselves.

I am careful about my thinking about self harming because I found that I can relapse even after a long time.

I really like that you admit being brave and were there for the others in your family. Yes we all have strengths and vulnerabilities.

Getting a mental health plan sounds like a good course of action. Best wishes for you and your daughter.

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@Trying777 wrote:

I am planning to see my GP next week and go on a mental health plan and hopefully I can get some professional help that way, as I can’t really afford to go private at this moment in time.

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Hi @Trying777 , this sounds good 👍

I hope you can get in to see someone soon.

@Trying777 I am so sorry to hear about your dad, your choice to have a baby to fill the void is understandable. I hope you can let go of the idea that you have to have a perfect house. Looking after yourself and your baby is more important right now.

I am sorry that things got so distressing you relapsed, but you did so well to stop self harm for so long, with everything you have been through. You did amazing and you can stop again.

When our babies are young life is really tough, we give so much to care for them and have so little time to ourselves, sometimes the distraction and busyness helps us push down feelings so we can cope for now, until we can’t.

Maybe rest when you can, cry when you need to, let the housework go sometimes, houses are for living in, not for display. I have a distress box for when I get too distressed, it has strong mints ( to bring me back to now by taste), lavender essential oil, a seashell and drawing stuff (it’s hard to think about anything else when you are trying to draw), angel cards, a notebook to journal, hand cream and a list of somatic and self soothing techniques. I can copy my list here if you think it might help.

I hope today is a better day. I recently learned TIP T for change temperature ( ice or cold water on face maybe) I for intense exercise, running on the stop, jumping jacks and P for paced breathing. I use a box breathing, in for 4 counts, hold for 2, out for 4 counts, hold for 2 repeat.
keep trying