TW Coping and Suicidal Thoughts

Hi @Birdofparadise8!

This is definitely a place where you can come to vent!

I'm sorry to hear how tough things have felt for so long.

Coping with suicidal thoughts is not easy. Until you've experienced them, it is hard to understand just how constant and intrusive they can be.

For me, a huge part of managing the thoughts came from recognising that I did not really want to die, I just wanted to not be feeling what I was feeling anymore.

Being able to recognise those thoughts as they arise as a response to something upsetting or overwhelming - rather than an actual need to act on those thoughts - has helped me a lot. Rather than listening to those thoughts as instructions, I try to acknowledge them: "Oh, yep, here is another suicidal thought. Thanks brain!".

This is a big part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that really stuck with me.

When you notice yourself starting to plan - this is a strong indicator that some extra support might be needed to make sure you keep yourself safe. It can be worthwhile telling someone - such as a GP, psychologist, friend or family member - to make sure you feel extra supported at these times.

Having a sense of your triggers and having a bit of a plan of action for when these arise can be helpful, too. Beyond Blue has a tool to create a safety plan online.

I hope that being here in itself can be a safe and supportive place to openly share your experiences. We have a wealth of wisdom and lived experience here and I am sure other Forums members will have a bunch of great strategies too.

There is nothing shameful about having these thoughts, you are definitely not alone in this 💛

Thank you for that @Peregrinefalcon

It hard to recognize them and let them go I feel guilty when I have them. I just keep thinking them over and why I’m thinking about things like this. I do have a safety plan but I just feel like it doesn’t work no matter what I do to distract myself it doesn’t seem to help. I try things like meditation or going for a walk but after I’ve finished I feel the same as before.

What is it like talking about suicidal thought with a doctor because at my last appointment she asked but I denied it and felt like something bad might happened if I was honest. I also can’t get into my GP till the 11th of November so I’ll just have to keep pushing through till then.

Thank you

Hey @Birdofparadise8 I've taken over for @Peregrinefalcon this evening.

I'm sorry to hear you're really struggling. First off I wanted to comment on the fact that you feel your safety plan isn't working. I get that frustration, because sometimes yes we do all the right things but still feel horrible. But I think the point of a safety plan is not necessarily to make you feel better (but should still definitely be part of the process where possible) but about keeping you safe in this moment. So maybe the distractions didn't make you feel better, but they did pass some time. Then maybe you're closer to sleeping, and trying again tomorrow.

As for talking to a GP about it - I think it might be worth seriously considering. To help you understand what might happen if you disclose thoughts of suicide, I can tell you a little about 'Duty of Care'. Basically, everyone in the health industry has an obligation to ensure safety is the highest priority. If your GP has reason to believe you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself or someone else, they may determine that in-patient hospital care is necessary to keep you safe.

This is one reason why we develop safety plans - a list of things that will increase your safety and reduce risk of suicide. You can bring your safety plan along to your GP appointment, and even work on it together.

It can be incredibly scary to share these thoughts with anyone. But it is only through talking about them that we can get the help we need. If you want to use this space to talk about thoughts of suicide, you can certainly do so - but please first read through this guide to posting safely about suicide on the forums.

I hope this helps provide you with some clarity, and some things to explore. Here with you 💜

Hi @Jynx

I’ll look through the guide. That’s a good point about the safety plan maybe I need to reevaluate it and try something different. Do you have any suggestions which might be helpful to develop a good one. I can’t see my GP till the 11th of November so a bit of a wait. I think I will bring it up I’m just a bit nervous about it and what she will think. It’s not something I find the easiest to talk about as I feel a bit ashamed to be thinking like this in the first place.

Thank you

@Birdofparadise8 You can have a look at BeyondBlue's resource for safety planning to see if there's anything you could add or change about what you currently have. Suicide Callback Service also have a guide to making a safety plan. Everyone's plans are going to be pretty individual. It might help to focus on what things you are able to control, what different supports are available (including friends and family, professional support and crisis lines, or communities like this one), and what your reasons are to keep holding on.

I totally get you, suicide ideation can be so isolating, especially because it's historically been so stigmatised. I know for myself I used to wonder how I could have such extreme thoughts of dying when I felt like I didn't 'deserve' to feel so bad. But it's nothing to do with deserving, and everything to do with the fact that these thoughts are causing you pain. Your GP is there to help you at the end of the day, and it won't be anything new to them - their priority is your health and wellbeing, regardless of how you got there.

Hi @Birdofparadise8

I'm struggling with similar things at the moment and waiting for Drs appointments is hard.

Something I have been doing is going to online support groups on Zoom.

Understand, this isn't for everyone though.

Alternatives to Suicide is online 3 nights a week. It's a non-clinical peer space. You don't have to have your camera on or speak, i've found it helpful to have a space where i can talk about these thoughts without a risk assessment.

https://alt2su-nsw.net/

Thank you I will have a look. @Jynx

Yeah it really sucks. I’ll have a look thank you for the information. @PossumSocks

Morning all, anyone up for a chat? I’m not feeling 100%. How is everyone else?

Thank you @Peregrinefalcon @Jynx @PossumSocks @NatureLover