Hi @ttivel,
Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather an I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It's great that you have found us and shared your experience. I know that (especially in the beginning) it can be a struggle for some to post on here. Please know you are in an anonymous and safe space.
Although I understand your concerns around speaking to your GP about taking more medication than you should may be it could be a positive thing? What I mean by this is maybe being honest with your GP around why you feel the need to take more medication to help take your mind of things could led you to have a discussion about what is going on with you. Plus I'm guessing the GP will be pleased that you were transparent than keeping this information to yourself. I think being honest with your GP shows that you can be trusted. Alternatively your GP might suggest a different type of medication that may be better suited to what you need at this hard time?
I'm wondering what you would think about talking to a professional about what is going on with a you that is playing so heavily on your mind? Often just talking things through can be really helpful. Perhaps you GP might suggest counselling or another form of therapy so that you can get some support with what you are going through right now.
Warm wishes,
FloatingFeather