Need to vent

Thank you for sharing @Mylesh .

I’m so sorry about your situation. Sounds so hard. Have you been able to get Centrelink?

I have BPD so I know how intense things can be. As much as I’m ‘recovered’, I still have BPD flare ups where I lose the plot. It’s not pleasant, let alone in the workplace.

In a way, I feel a little guilty because I do have a spare property in which no one is living. It’s been vacant for three years now. I go there each fortnight to tend to the garden and mail… that’s about it.

People have asked many times why I don’t rent it out. The simple reason is, I don’t want the house trashed. Since covid, landlords have a lot of restrictions in place about not raising rents, not asking tenants to leave….etc.

That’s my fear.

I know my post doesn’t help your situation, but it really does make me think that I should rent it out just to help someone. But how can I ensure the place is looked after?

Any thoughts on this @Mylesh ? I’ve never rented out my properties before. It’s all new to me. Fear is holding me back. And I’m not one who just wants $$$. So I just leave the properties there.

Hey @BPDSurvivor
Hmmmmm, I would probably be feeling the same if I was in your shoes. it’s a bit like running the gauntlet, you might get some really good ones, some really bad ones or something in the middle. if I was to lease the property I would take extra steps to ensure that you are confident in the tenants abilities to look after the house (I’m not sure how you would do this sorry 😓)
But if you could help someone who needed it that would be a generous thing to do, just make sure you own stability isn’t affected to greatly, cheers 👍🏼

Hello @Mylesh

I am so sorry you are going through all this hardship when even work will not be enough to keep you off the streets.

I was impressed by your statement:

"the hardest thing I’ve found is when you try so so hard to help someone but everyone around her makes her so much worse.. then I’m on the receiving end of her hurt, she seems to take it out on me which I understand, but it’s still hard you know, I’m only 25 and I’m struggling with the transition into becoming an adult as it is but I’m worried I’ll never become the man or partner I want to be because I’m loosing all my strength,"

I really hope you persevere with your positive relationship with yourself no matter what happens re work, homelessness or your relationship.

I know what it is like to be at the receiving end of someone else's hurt and acting out, who I did genuinely love and care for. It is important to have some boundaries, and carrying on when driving and telling the driver what to do when that person is unwell, is crossing some serious boundaries in my mind, regardless of any diagnosis. It is in her best interests to learn better impulse control and distress tolerance. Getting stressed about fast food queues is not a good enough excuse for pressuring you. A long time ago, I would jump to the defence of anyone with various mental health diagnoses, but fingers and more burnt. We also have to be careful not to enable them and use a diagnosis as an excuse not to grow in full maturity.

I was also impressed you could see things from @BPDSurvivor's landlord point of view, when you could have become very triggered by your own pressing needs ... from the bottom of the Maslow hierarchy of needs. Essentials.

Please take care of yourself, we need more good empathic men in the world, including one's who can drive heavy machinery.

@Myleshthanks very much for sharing. I can see it's a tough situation, and you're obviously caring very much for your partner.

The part about being distracted in your own life - can relate. I've gone into anxiety and panic through similar episodes. Yet it's a credit to you that you remained eloquent and still have that fight in you. I hope that continues.