Hi @Sev ,
I hear you on how you may be feeling!
I myself had been thrown suddenly into a carer role for the past 2yrs, and found myself in moments where I could use words to describe what is very visceral: suffocation, panic, dread ... whenever I started to realise that I could be doing this for the foreseeable future. And I'd get stuck on thinking it wasn't my choice (neither was it the choice of my injured family member too). It's totally understandable though to feel this way. What you and I are doing are really important, and yet we can get so lost in it that we don't have anything for ourselves at the end of the day. It's a terrible feeling.
I also have anxiety and PTSD, and I had been going to counselling for the good part of a decade (it takes a long time), so I do have some tools I have found helpful for me over the years, and I'd like to share them with you if that's ok. If so scroll ahead.
Just know that I can see your struggles and can relate, and you're not alone. There is a lot of help out there. Counselling does take a long time to come through in my experience, and it really depends on who you're working with.
Having patience and compassion for yourself, and holding yourself lightly on days when you are struggling, can help a bit. Taking deep breaths, doing grounding exercises like naming 5 things you can hear, 4 you can see, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste, has been really good for me. Journalling regularly helps me put my frustrations somewhere else (other than inside my brain). Drinking water, or just breaking that vicious mental spiral by doing something quickly to distract you, for me it's washing dishes for some reason. And using the helplines too on especially bad nights. I hope some of these may be of use to you.
All the best to you,
SSGG.
