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Actions speak louder than words.

QuestionSenior Contributor27 Sept 2022, 10:48 pm AEST

Actions speak louder than words.

How many of you use the services of a phone counselor such as Beyond Blue or Lifeline for example.

I have been contacting pretty much all of them and very few can cope with what I have to say.

I know they cannot physically do anything but unless somebody does more than talk nothing will change for the better.

There is a saying: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

I just got off the phone after explaining I had nowhere to turn and the "counselor" wished me luck and hoped I would get enough rest to battle on.

Out of all the people I have spoken to only two have stopped me after a couple of minutes of talking and asked if I was considering suicide based on what I was saying.

Every other person has listened and after the allowed 30 minutes ended the call by asking do I feel any unsafe thoughts?

Its amazingly insulting that having stated that I will have nowhere to live and nobody for support only two people have considered I have nothing to live for.

I phone for help, I ask people for help and get nothing but words.

Many years ago I fell asleep while driving and ran into a tree.

I was given a lift to the local hospital and left alone in a empty waiting room for a couple of hours.

At some point a local football hero was rushed in and his injured knee was immediately attended to.

What can I say if my head injuries from the steering wheel were not important enough to at least let me lay down or have somebody keep an eye on me.

About 12 hours later after I got home I finally relaxed and started crying.

I was not crying because I was almost killed but because I had survived.

20 years later having phoned every help line during the last month I still wish I could have died rather than be desperate enough to be tortured by people who claim they care.

It is so damaging to have false hope.

6 replies

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In response to: Actions speak louder than words.

Eden1919Senior Contributor27 Sept 2022, 10:57 pm AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

@Question I am sorry you are not feeling heard i have similar issues with helplines and while i know there is a limit to what they can do it can be very upsetting to feel like just a number or like people arent trying to help at all. i am not sure i have any helpful advise... are you able to afford something like a psychologist?

In response to: Re: Actions speak louder than words.

QuestionSenior Contributor27 Sept 2022, 11:07 pm AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

Thanks for the reply. There is no advice so do not feel to bad. There are just some things that will not change.

In response to: Re: Actions speak louder than words.

Eden1919Senior Contributor27 Sept 2022, 11:09 pm AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

I am sorry things are like that it must be very difficult to feel so hopeless about what options or lack of options you have.

In response to: Re: Actions speak louder than words.

QuestionSenior Contributor28 Sept 2022, 1:31 am AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

I have had many psychologist and the one I have at the moment only sees me once a month. The last visit she talked about her catsand the previous visit she had a chat with my wife and her problems rather than mine. The previous psychologist lasted about a year before he moved and left me with no replacement. My life story is so in depth he just sat and listened for the entire year. I visited him every two weeks. He really did want me to write a book about my experiences. I had a brief break from that bloke and visited another lady twice who when I mentioned that I had been asked to be a Lifeline counsellor she stated they would not know anything. I did see a psychiatrist once and I could not understand why I received a cheque in the mail. I called the psychiatrist office and asked about the cheque and they stated it was theirs and that I had to deliver it to them as this was normal?? I should have ripped the thing up as it made me felt very demeaning to pay hundreds of dollars only to have to hand deliver more money that should have been sent directly to the recepient/psychiatrist. I am hopefully getting assessed at the end of the week to spend time in professional care if the hospital will have me.

In response to: Actions speak louder than words.

M_P90Senior Contributor28 Sept 2022, 8:26 am AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

Everything you're saying resonates with me, I understand the deep lonely distress & the frustration/hopelessness of dealing with the helplines. It's an awful place to be.

Can only speak from my experience, but there are different levels of training & different policies between the helplines.

Lifeline is staffed by volunteers who have had some suicide prevention and very basic counselling training. I have rarely found Lifeline helpful and would say Suicide Callback is much better in crisis as they have proper professionals on the line. I've spoken to Lifeline counsellors who don't listen, give unsolicited advice, ramble about god knows what. I don't understand how they maintain their funding for the quality of that service, it's shocking.

I've found sometimes more specialised helplines are better,depending what the other issues are. 1800RESPECT used to be great if you have a history of abuse, but Medibank has taken over it and it's gone downhill a bit. But still, can be helpful depending who you get.

I've personally found the Sane Helpline the best and most reliable one. Unfortunately it's not 24 hours or 7 days a week and there's sometimes a wait. The other one than can be helpful if you've got complex trauma is Blue Knot.

Beyond blue don't seem to understand complex mental health, they're more about mild anxiety/depression.

Anyway I hope this is helpful. I wish the helplines were better too!!

In response to: Re: Actions speak louder than words.

QuestionSenior Contributor28 Sept 2022, 8:44 pm AEST

Re: Actions speak louder than words.

My wife was a lifeline counsellor and I was asked to do the course by the head of local branch.

Maybe this justifies your statement about Lifeline or challenges it but regardless I agree that Lifeline is at the bottom of the heap when it comes to seeking assistance because of its volunteers.

Funny enough though it was a Lifeline counsellor that asked me 5 minutes into our conversation if I was considering suicide?

She is one of only two people who have asked me this at the beginning of the conversation rather than at the end when they have to end the call because of time restrictions.

I truly appreciated that she asked so soon from that point on we could get to the point of trying to tackle the problem.

For all the good you get from some people you may as well talk to a machine as the routine is always the same no matter what organisation you call.

My rule of thumb is the more publicity an organisation gets the less quality of care you receive mainly in regards to volunteer groups.

Some people only volunteer because they have nothing better to do or want to be part of the popular crowd.

I have an uncle who was forced to do community service as part of his pension payment as he was not at retirement age.

He picked a museum that I had been involved with and left many years ago.

I bundled up all my notes and knowledge of the museum and its history to share with him for his education.

He said he had no interest in the history but was more than happy that he had people to talk to who also have no interest in the museums past.

This is why I have nothing to with volunteer groups anymore and I cannot deal with people.

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