Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

My mum

NubiaNew Contributor24 Sept 2022, 9:19 pm AEST

My mum

Hi,

I am new to this.

I have been in emotional pain for a while now, so I thought I should get support.

I am in Sydney and my family is in Italy, I haven’t been able to see my family for 4 years.
My mum is sick now, she has cancer for the second time in less than 10 years.
She has history of cannabis and alcohol abuse and we don’t have a great relationship, but she is sick now and in the past years she developed mental health issues as well.
I am having hard time and I am trying my best to stay strong and keep on going with my life and I am here in Australia, building my life my career while she is slowly dying and my 5 siblings are in pain and I can see fear in their eyes.
I keep asking my self:

Why is this happening?

What do I do?
And this is not fair 😞.

In my job I help children to have a better life, I work in child protection!

But it seems that I can not help my self this time.

3 replies

1 - 3 of 3

In response to: My mum

tymeModerator24 Sept 2022, 9:53 pm AEST

Re: My mum

Good Evening @Nubia ,

Thank you for posting. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have read your post, I'm listening and I'm hearing how difficult it is for you right now.

I hope other members will be able to provide insight and share their experiences with you.

In life, sometimes we just don't have all the answers. But at this time, YOU are the important one. Please know you are not alone. I am here, sitting beside you and listening.

Hang in there. I look forward to hearing from you, tyme

In response to: My mum

hanamiSenior Contributor26 Sept 2022, 10:29 am AEST

Re: My mum

Hi @Nubia

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. We are all here for you so please know you're not alone. There are things in life we just can't control and this can make us feel really helpless. Sadly, I feel that your situation is one of these times. Do you have a counsellor, psychologist or other health professional that you can talk to about your feelings? I think it would really help. Keep reaching out on the forums,

Sending hugs

Hanami

In response to: My mum

FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor26 Sept 2022, 3:23 pm AEST

Re: My mum

Hi @Nubia,

Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. You have found a safe space to share your story and get support. We have a lot of lovely members with a variety of lived experience.

I'm sorry to read that you and your family are going through such a challenging time at the moment. It must be very hard, particularly with your family in Italy and yourself here.

It can be challenging to reconcile with a sick parent when your relationship hasn't always been a good one. I can only speak from my lived experience but what I have observed about my parents getting older is that there can be a shift from them acting as carer for the child to the adult child acting as carer for them.

Unfortunately life isn't always fair and challenges arise for all of us. My dad had a six year battle with dementia and passed last year. Some may see it as unfair and others may see it as the challenges of life. What I did learn along that journey was that my time with my dad was limited so I tried to spend as much time as I could. I understand that your mum is overseas but can you Facetime or talk on the phone. It sounds like you could all do with a lot of support at this hard time.

A family member of mine used to work in child protection - it's not an easy job, particularly when you are going through hard things in your private life. I feel for you and your family as I know this is not an easy time. I really wish you and your family all the best.

FloatingFeather

1 - 3 of 3