M_P90Senior Contributor
Sometimes it feels like there is no light
I've worked very hard through 5 grueling years of therapy, and I am still alone. As each loss happens in my life, I only become more alone. Domestic abuse has been a shadow over my childhood and early adult life. As a child, I never wanted a family because I believed it was emotional torture, as was my family of origin. People tell me there is more than this lonely pain and I want a family to make up for the shoddy one I had growing up. Briefly I thought I found it with a partner who decided he couldn't like me romantically (after 2 months of telling me the opposite). I guess I'm not attractive or good enough. I thought I'd found the light at the end of this long tunnel, but it never comes! It feels like the mental health professionals have all told me a lie. I am still alone and I am still in pain. Why am I not worth love? I first asked this as a child and I've never found the answer. Why are others loved and I am not loved? It seems like I'll never be loved. I don't know how many times a heart can break and be put back together. Maybe I just can't put it back together this time.
