I'm a prisoner of what happened to me

Hi @Nellanne

Thank you for sharing this part of your story 💜 You have been through such significant trauma and an obliteration of trust. It can take so much courage to say these things out loud (or post them) so, thank you in trusting us to help you hold this. I do really hope the forums can help you feel less alone in your experience 🌻

As always, I encourage yourself, and anyone else passing through, to go gently with yourselves. Parts of stories that we share, and read, may bring things up for ourselves, so please remember to reach out for support if and when you need.

Lifeline (24/7)

13 11 14

1800RESPECT (24/7)

1800 737 732

SANE Australia (Weekdays, 10am-10pm)

1800 18 72 63

@Nellanne I’m a male and I’ve had minor sexual assault on 6 instances over the period of 10 years. Has it changed me, no am I becoming stronger, yes. Have faith in yourself and trust the process things will get better. I’m glad your not feeling suicidal because it’s not your fault, life is unfair sometimes cause of people who want to cause pain, but that’s not you. I hope things work out for you

You are a strong person.

Emphasis on strong. More emphasis on person. Most emphasis on you.

I see you.

You are a strong person.

I don't have any words that will take away your trauma, @Nellanne. I can only send you my best wishes and hope you begin to be able to turn the page on this trauma soon. Trust is hard to get back. I have none, so I know how that feels. I can only send you the hope that you will be kind to yourself. Healing takes time. Take care.

I’m so sorry to hear of the trauma you have endured @Nellanne . Just seems so unfair. So hard to let go and move on. So hard to live. It’s just not fair.

I really don’t know what I can say.

@Nellanne Firstly - so brave and so courageous both telling part of your story here and also having endured what you have. I can absolutely relate to most of those feelings and for many, many years were exactly in the same place. It does take time and a lot of help to get through all this. I know that means very little right now - more sharing a little hope 💖

I would see maybe the day is made even harder for you because of the significance of the day more widely and along with that there are constant reminders in the media that the day is coming up. I do really feel for you because there is very little you can do to avoid that. Much like you - I avoid a lot of tv, radio, don't watch the news and try to avoid reading anything that may potentially be triggering ...but what I cannot often avoid is one particular song that is very popular - supposed to be uplifting but for me is the most triggering.

I can definitely hear how much of an impact this has had on your entire life and can fully understand the mistrust you have in people. I can also understand you wanting to shut yourself away and be somewhere where you feel even a small amount of safety. This should not have happened to you - should not happen to anyone but in no way are you to blame nor did you contribute to this in any way. The fault is entirely on this person. Nothing you did or did not do contributed to this at all but you are the one left dealing with it - and that is not just not fair but completely unjust.

The only advice I can give, from personal experience, is keep reaching out to whoever you need, keep putting one foot in front of the other, surround yourself with those you trust (even if it is just a few people) and don't let this person keep taking away more from you - they have taken enough. If you can - reclaim the day by organising things for yourself that are all about you. I have begun to do this a lot more and to begin with it just did not happen (too painful still) but over time and little by little it has become easier.

I, too, would encourage you to reach out to 1800 RESPECT for some extra support and we too here are listening. 💖

I'm sorry. Yes there is evil in every profession. Priests, schools, police, doctors... My story is 11 years of fear from my father

He terrorised us. I am 57 and suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Still. I never used to. Every 2 weeks I'd become a sex slave to strange men. I ended up getting anti labido medication which has caused a 4cm tumour on my brain. My best for was homeless and became a male prostitute as a little child for men. He hates himself. Through NDIS I'm getting weekly counselling as in my childhood there was my fathers terrorising behaviour. My mother dying on my 11th birthday and me being hit by a car and suffering from a traumatic brain injury. I became withdrawn and lost all my friends. I spent 8 years in prison. Get weekly counselling thru NDIS. Find a support group to join. Make friends who understand. Get supports who'll listen. All the best. I have God also.

Hi @pjc1965 , you are also so brave.

I admire the strength you both have @pjc1965 @Nellanne . I think I’d be sitting in darkness feeling sorry for myself if I went through even a slither of what either of you have been through. Yet you have both inspired me to push through the darkest thoughts and the darkest places.

I guess there’s a life worth living. It’s about finding it. And not giving up until that life is found.

Thank you.