A long over due check in.

Hello everyone, sorry I haven't posted for a long time. I got an email to remind me to check in even when things are going well. G had been out of hospital since February, and still didn't really get well again. There has been a few more medication changes and now he is back in hospital as of last Tuesday. Once again the thoughts are about me and things I do - (which of course I don't do any of them). They have talked him into trying 'the last resort medication'. Which is a scary prospect with all I have read about it. So he is having base line tests done and all will be started if the carliologist says it ok to do so.

I still have thoughts of where this is all heading and how I can endure this for many more years to come. He promised to go to councelling last time, but alas has not done so. There is always an excuse why he shouldn't go. So we have discussed again and he is open to it again, so time will only tell.

I'm doing a lot better this time, than last time. It was such a shock last time the way he was accusing me of certain things. I guess you just get used to it and get on with it.

I am open to where ever this may lead to, whether it be fight for out marriage or seperate. Walking away is not an easy decision, but self preservation is a very strong thing.

Sending love to you all, and hope you are all getting the support you need. x