Self ḻoathing

I don't understand those feelings, @Iamw. Have you ever wondered where they came from–did others instill them in you, have they resulted from your experiences; do they originate in self-comparison?

You've asked if this is how life will be for you. Well, will it? You are an individual, as good as all others, but it is up to you what you are going to do with yourself and with your life. Are you going to stagnate or are you going to grow to your potential?

You must find avenues to develop yourself, to perfect your natural abilities. If you don't know what they are–go to a library and browse the shelves. What piques your interest? Would you like to accumulate knowledge on that subject, just for self-development, or perhaps gain further knowledge on a wide variety of subjects? (My option). Learn something entirely new? What is your purpose in life? Only you can answer that. Who are YOU?

I send you best wishes and hope these words are not misplaced.

Re SELF Loathing

Hello @Iamw

Many people go through periods of not feeling good enough. That is because other people put their best foot forward and hide their real selves. You are completely fine just the way you are. You are here for a good reason. You will soon find out that reason and be happy with who you are. No one is better than anyone else.like society would have us believe. "Follow your intuition, be smart, be brave, tell the truth and don't take crap from anyone."(Kelly Coltrane" 'Peoples Revolution')

I hope this helps. People here definitely know you are good enough.

Sending good wishes 💗

Hey @Iamw. You are not alone with this. Many people who have chronic depression or who have experienced severe trauma suffer from this kind of thing.

If I can throw my two cents in I can tell you that mindfulness meditation helps me. This is because it brings awareness to yourself around your own thoughts and habits.

You also learn that you do not have to believe your thoughts.

please be gentle and compassionate to yourself.

It is going to take time to undo those false beliefs and the shame that has been instilled in you. It takes time and compassion and a good therapist to help you see clearly and help you move through it.

Gday, thanks for sharing so much. I am self loathing now that I didnt listen to my dad when he told me my husband didnt love me.

Im self loathing when I act from the sub conscious belief system that was given to me as a girl child is that I didn't matter, my job was to get married, be submission and always agreeable, not develop a personality because my role was to be a serving wife and mother.

that I am inherently bad and that I hurt other people

I had a lot of hang ups growing up even though my family loved me and cared for me - they did their best as I did with my two kids and in my marriage... I struggled and wanted a happy family and cried and cried when I always felt my expectations were unmet

How I let this happen, how I hurt my kids how I let myself be hurt so much...

I think you get I struggle with self loathing.

I have been listening to Abraham Hicks.. not sure about the truth of the situation that Ester Hicks is hearing words from personality in the universal loving wisdom (not sure how this happened)

but the main thing I get is that if I focus on my pain, sadness, failings, I stay there and only get worse.

In counselling I learnt when I feel like this.. I get a torch (imaginary) and shine it into myself as a little girl and also now and try to find the hurt in my heart body and brain..and when I see the hurt the torch turns into a healing tool.. that is full of beautiful warm light that cuts away at the badness,, like cleaning out a sore of infection and that it keeps shining this warm healing like that is thick like honey that soothes and comforts me.. I use it in my memories,, so the torch shines into my brain,, deep into my memories, removing infected bad memories cutting away at the rot and allowing healing and new truths to grow.. that I am loved, I matter. the big adult me cuddles the little girl in a corner under a blanket to keep her warm and lets the torch warm us both up .. Im waiting for the little girl to want to come out from hidiing.. we both are still hiding huddled under a blanket ..hope my self therapy works.

Another strategy is I am starting to say I am satisfied and breathe deeply, and keep doing this. not focussing on the loathing,, but focussing on a feeling of satisfaction from a memory, event, etc. I am satisfied now that I have connected on this forum to real people, rather than having to pretend that I am ok.. I am satisfied that even though I wont see results straight away, I believe if I choose to be satisfied with patience what I desire will come more easily to me because I am letting it in because I am choosing to feel better and think better.. rather than self loathing which is a horrible spiral, I am satisfied that I am using my brain to try to learn something new that might help me. I am satisfied that I feel better and maybe if I keep practising this during today and tomorrow and the next day I will continue to feel a bit better , I am satisfied that I have felt better for 3 days now and only had one really bad day, etc

anyways.. I always feel really sick and hurt and incapacitated when I self loathe.. this says I dont want to do it anymore.. so I am willing to learn new ways and feel in myself an inner being worthy of being cared for by the universe/god/ etc and that I enjoy this vibrational feeling of being satisfied.

even if my family avoids me and I cant see my grandchilden etc