Hi @DID82
Sorry to hear what you are going through. I can definitely relate to what you are going through as I’m in the same situation and working on myself currently to try and make a good life for myself. Existing is definitely no way of living and I know exactly how that feels.
Working a job I don’t really love, doing my best to have the energy to get through the day only to retreat to my home to escape it all.
reading the other responses, I can completely relate to the masks you put on at work, everything’s ok and just going through the motions.
I’m on the same journey as you my friend, so know that you are not alone but we can get through this.
Due to some of my past experiences, I too haven’t exposed myself to the world and find it an effort to push myself to step up and get out because I get socially anxious and at times really overwhelming, but I have hope and I am working on eventually getting the courage to step out and face the world head on.
I too have thoughts of despair thinking what am I going to do with my life and how am I going to overcome this, but luckily I sought help and found this magical forum to find likeminded individuals and seek support from the awesome peer workers here to help us on our journey.
I often run away from a lot of my problems and never took time to think about what I want to get out of my life because I was too scared of facing these things or thought I’d never “figure” it out, I actually took some time off work because it was getting too much and spent some time thinking about my strengths and started thinking about what would be meaningful to me.
by the sounds of what you said you have a real care for others, as do I, and I only recently discovered about peer work which sounds really appealing to me, but i wouldn’t of found out until I started investigating and taking action. It took me a long time to have the courage to start looking, but I’m glad I did.
what I will say, don’t be too hard on yourself, you are doing the best that you can right now.
it’s a good start that you are reaching out for support which takes a lot of courage.
what helped me was to speak to someone and get support, the moment I realized it was ok to ask for help, everything else became easier.
we are going to get through this!
cheers