My children

Dear @Leeanne ,

Welcome to the forums.

Thank you for reaching out. I hope you will find the support you are looking for here.

There is no perfect parent and there is no perfect parenting. As the saying goes, 'if you've never made a mistake - you've never made anything.'

Through my experiences, I don't believe it's about not falling, but rather, how to get up.

I hope connecting with others on the forums will give you the strength to press on.

tyme

@Krishna @Anastasia

I'm hoping to find a parent that is in the same situation as I am

Hi @Leeanne Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to read of your situation with your children and I can relate. My daughter has been estranged from me for nearly 3 years now and only recently I’ve managed a few short phone conversations with her, very brief. It’s so hard as parents, simply doing what you think is right at the time with no crystal ball to see the result of decisions made but hope for the best outcome. How long has it been since you’ve had communication with your kids? I kept up texting and writing letters to my daughter over the years just to keep the lines of communication open and to remind her that she is loved. It hurts a lot hey! I’ve slowly learned to accept things for what they are and have erased any feelings of unworthiness, guilt etc. as can’t change the past, although I don’t know the reason for her estrangement. I just keep her in a little special place in my heart and simply continue to hope that one day we’ll reconnect. Meanwhile, do things that bring you peace and joy and look after your well-being. Often here if you’d like to chat further. 🙏❤️

Its been 5 year since I saw my daughter. Just found out she has moved to Melbourne but don't know her address so I message her on Facebook . It's so hard to see that she reads the messages but won't answer . My son don't talk ,I have 3 grandchildren and only saw them once

Hugs @Leeanne @Krishna .

@Krishna , I believe the above message from @Leeanne was for you.

@Leeanne , you can tag members to read your responses by adding "@" in front of their names.

Kindest, tyme

@Krishna

Thanks for sharing your story .I find it difficult ATM to have hope that my daughter or son will one day reconnect with me

Hi @Leeanne 5 years is a long time of not being involved with your family and I’m sorry for your heartache. Never give up hope though that one day things will change. I have the same thing with my daughter with sending Facebook messages knowing she’s read them but never replies. I keep sending them anyway. What sort of support do you have in place for yourself? Other family, friends, counselling just to share the load. When I start thinking about my daughter too much, I calmly put those thoughts into a little box in my mind and heart and focus on something else, just to give myself some space from it all. Some days that’s easier said than done but it does help.

Hi @Krishna

I can only begin to imagine how tough it is that your children don't talk to you. I'm one of the peer workers here at Sane and previously worked in community mental health. When I was in this previous job I often worked with people whose children no longer spoke to them. I remember one beautiful woman who was in her 50s and had on and off relationships with her kids. They would often go through stages of resenting her for things that had happened while they were children. But she kept trying again and again to say she was sorry for everything and if she could change things she would. Other parents were just so worn down by trying to mend their relationships they had given up. It was truly heartbreaking. There unfortunately no quick fixes for these situations. I think connecting with others in the same situatin is an amazing idea. I hope you find some solace here on the forums.

Sending hugs

Hanami

@Krishna

I try to keep busy crocheting blankets for the homeless and a jumper for me and a top for a lady at my mum's age care home. I hate being depressed like I am

Thanks @hanami for your reply. I’m fortunate that I have a very close relationship with my son, although he lives in another state. It’s my daughter who has estranged herself from me due in a lot of ways to her having schizophrenia. We’ve never had a massive argument or anything that would result in this, she simply won’t communicate with me or allow me to visit (she lives 3 hours away). I miss having my daughter in my life but over the years have learnt to live with this to a degree. Life’s too short and precious to be lived in sadness and suffering due to someone else’s actions, even when it’s your own flesh and blood. It hurts like no other pain but is what it is and I’m okay 🙏❤️