GRRRRRRR....

Hey @florencefifty I can hear that you have had a really tough time in having to deal with all of this. Honestly, I think your anger about that situation is justified though!

Anger is such an important emotion. It is unfortunately very stigmatised in our society because people often automatically equate anger to aggression. But anger is an emotion, aggression is a behaviour. And anger is just as natural and normal as all emotions, but we are socially conditioned to suppress it, because it is "wrong". But anger isn't wrong, acting aggressively or violently because of it is wrong.

I often experience anger in relation to injustice, to my needs not being met, or awful treatment for myself or for others. So to me, your anger in this situation speaks to your empathy and the value you place even on the lives of strangers.

One of the tricky things about anger is that we aren't really taught how to deal with it. I used to believe I 'wasn't an angry person' (but really it was that I had suppressed my anger so much that it always just came out as crying) and have had to learn that I can and should express myself when I'm angry. So I am very glad you came to the forums to talk about how you're feeling! You might also like to look at articles about 'healthy expression of anger' and stuff like that if you're interested in learning more.

Hope this helps 😊

Ohh @florencefifty , soo good to see you again my awesome friend xxx

Sometimes the jobs just not worth it @florencefifty Not really a positive way to deal with it but I'd take the anger as a sign I shouldn't be there and leave

Hi @florencefifty

Anger is an awful feeling isn't it. I feel that it was warranted in your particular work situation though. Sounds like your colleague shouldn't be in the position she's in!

As I've gotten older I do seem to lose patience much easier. I usually find removing myself from the situation and going for a walk calms me down. Not easy though if you're at work!

And I have to admit there have been occasions where I just can't seem to move on from my feelings. I find the best way to deal with it is to discuss the issue with a friend or my husband and have my feelings validated. Once I know that someone else understands me and empathises I feel much better. I feel that that's why these forums are great. You can spill your emotions and there is always someone around to 'listen' to you.

Sending you hugs

Hanami 💮

Hi @florencefifty , I hear ya about anger! I used to bottle mine up, and what you've described at work brought up familiar feelings about past work places for me too. I can just imagine the frustration and that feeling of 'banging your head against a wall' kind?

I've been reading the other replies, and they're all what I was thinking too:

1) it sounds so frustrating to be working in an environment where people don't seem to care

2) it's hard to manage our own anger, especially over things we have no control/power over

3) does it makes you feel like that dreaded feeling of 'will things always be like this?'

It makes me think of that word 'resilience' - I used to think it was just about pushing through and letting things go. But that only ever flared up my stress and anxiety symptoms in the long run. It turns out, things that hurt me, don't align with my values, I cannot let it go! I have a strong sense of justice I guess.

I like the newer definitions of resilience - which is more about being flexible, to know when to cut your losses, and to make changes as you see fit, to consistently adjust to life's changes, and to know how to have your own back, and to try again (maybe in the same work place, maybe somewhere else?). There's no wrong answers.

There's benefit in learning how to manage our own anger and there's benefit in evaluating whether a job/project is right for us when it's safe to do so. I find setting myself deadlines sometimes can help .. e.g. if this job doesn't get better within 3mths, I'll start looking for opportunities elsewhere etc.

I hope this is helpful! I wish you the best going forward!