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frustrated

FORLORNNew Contributor06 July 2022, 4:48 am AEST

frustrated

Finally built up the courage to come in here. Straight up I can not understand the comments work or someone to speak to and ask for help understanding this. I have been isolated30 and expected to know everything. I think I was better off not coming in here. s much pain just for being determined. let's face it family is right I am wasted space. i have been trying so hard to understand my 3 main conditions. I have discovered a lot. I wish doorways stay shut for a reason. That is why we let our survival instinct govern us. But we don't exist. We are not we. everything is copying another. 60-year-old body and i stopped development at 30. I don't fit into either group. narcissists always find me and I become the runt to kick around again. my pain is now less so ill get out of here before this site lands me back here. running in a circle. living in circles. nothing changes it just wears new clothes you can not pick it as your childhood was full of them when you did not know any better. That sense of comfort you feel with manipulators is simply because you pick up on all your life has known and they found you. i hate the behaviour. I do not hate them because I could have gone over to manipulators instead of exercising compassion. I hate being nice and doing the right thing, feeling everyone's hurt. I just want to go to heaven so I can punch the shit out of God. if such exists. Believe men I say, I have so much crap happen to me. my ex turned into something i am still shocked. He manipulated my son to have him believe I have caused. I was unhappy for 30 years.
now somehow my secret is out and midlife male lies and deception. how do people feel dragging them

i should know better than to find my own.
I will try another group that their web is easy for Dysgraphia dopes

3 replies

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In response to: frustrated

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor06 July 2022, 8:53 am AEST

Re: frustrated

Hi @FORLORN ,

It sounds like you are grappling with a lot of pain and hurt.

I cannot take the pain away, but I can stay with you and listen.

The fact that you ‘feel everyone’s hurt’ tells me you are very empathetic.

Im sorry you feel so hurt. You are not a waste of space here and I hope you will find some compassion for yourself.

I used to live in the past and it only brought depression. Live in the now and you’ll have a chance of changing things.

Take care my dear,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: frustrated

hanamiSenior Contributor06 July 2022, 1:59 pm AEST

Re: frustrated

Hi there @FORLORN

I can sense how much hurt and frustration you're holding. I'm sure there are people here for you so please stay around. You are most welcome here and most definitely not alone.

Sending hugs

Hanami 💮

In response to: frustrated

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor06 July 2022, 3:04 pm AEST

Re: frustrated

Let me be the one to tell you the main trick @FORLORN . It did the trick just then when I tagged your name. When you type in the "@", an auto-complete window comes up with all the people on the thread. That way we can let each other know who's responding to what. Makes things a bit more conversational.

I'd kind of like to add to @BPDSurvivor 's observation. You're also making the distinction between bad people and bad behaviour. That shows empathetic and cognitive strength. Seems you have discovered a lot and also the right things.

Recovery from exposure to narcissist games, is a bit of a global theme these days. There's a youtube channel "Empath's Refuge" out there, and honestly I've got mixed feelings about it. It's very pseudo-psychology. Kind of tells it's audience what it wants to hear. Sometimes talks about "dark empathy" which can be a thing, but I wouldn't particularly recommend, because that can definitely go too far.

But, at the same time, they also talk about "sigma empathy" which I think is a generally positive paradigm (perhaps a little audacious but it's part of healthy life to have a little audacity). It's also hard to argue with how the creator's and the algorithm offer comfort and take the empath's side in such a consistent way. Most of their observations are intuitive (as one might expect) but also practical and largely based in refining communication.

Like with a lot of us, your pain is also a power. That's what I'm really trying to say.

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