Toxic family

Hi and welcome, @Lola5 , it's good you've joined.

I am sorry to hear about your husband's toxic family and all they are putting you both through 😞

I'm especially sorry to hear that you feel suicidal.

I'm glad to hear you're seeing a doctor tomorrow. I'm wondering if you feel you could ask them for a Mental Health Care Plan? That would entitle you to up to 10 (20 during Covid) subsidised sessions with a psychologist. Unfortunately it could be a 6-month wait to get in to see a psychologist, but if you set it up now, that would provide some hope on the horizon for you?

I am also wondering if you are suffering grief due to your early menopause diagnosis?

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply to them.

I hope you find the forums supportive, @Lola5 .

You post gives me a lot to think about. I'm a reconciliatory person and like to look at both sides of a conflict. It does seem that the in-laws you are describing are not looking for solutions.

The other thing I try to do is compare the mental modelling that people get their opinions from. When people get dishonest, that process gets trickier, because you've got to filter the real modelling from the projected modelling. Or in other words "arguing with someone's lie" gets nowhere compared to "reasoning with someone's truth".

So, what is their truth? Probably some confronting answers to that question, but answers. For that matter, I wonder what they're not seeing about you and you partners truths.

That's my take, for now. It's a head-scratcher and I thank you for sharing it.

Hi @Lola5 ,

We're glad you found our community here- it sounds like it's been an incredibly stressful and challenging 6 months for you, and I'm so sorry you've been experiencing that. It's wonderful to hear that you've made an appointment to see your dr tomorrow, that shows a lot of strength- you deserve to be supported in such a challenging time. How is your husband feeling about what has been happening? We are all here to listen - I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow 💜

If you're looking for resources @Lola5 , Relationships Australia, seems very much the peak body. They've expanded so much. Heaps of branches. Heaps of info. Heaps of specialization. From what I tell, they're pretty much in charge of relationships. The Microsoft/coca-cola of people getting along.

I'd also vouch for my experiences with them, anecdotally.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all that with your husband's family, it sounds like a nightmare.

just wanted to say I'm with you on the premature menopause thing. I'm 39 and been diagnosed but have had the symptoms for a couple of years. bipolar + menopause sucks!!

hope you manage to sort things out so your life can be less stressful and you and your husband can have the kind of relationship you would have dreamed you would have