Everything is chaotic including my mental health

Hi @PocketRocket88 I can hear that you're really trying to keep safe through a really overwhelming and painful time, I'm glad you keep reaching out here for support. I will flick you an email, would you please keep an eye out for it?

Hi @PocketRocket88 , yes, I do know how you feel. All I can say is that I'm glad I'm still alive now.

You are sounding less angry and more rational than you used to...well done.

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@PocketRocket88 wrote:

I also came to a conscious decision that I won’t express these feelings or problems to anyone anymore because no one listens anyways nor I feel like someone do want to help me. t I’m running out of time and motivation to resist all temptations of ending my life…

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You have expressed them to us, so well done for that also 🙂

Hello @PocketRocket88. You've expressed what so many of us here are also feeling, including myself. I have no advice or suggestions for you @PocketRocket88, except to say that it is better to take anti-depressants than drugs. You are among friends here. I send you best wishes and hope that today is a little brighter.

Have you ever felt that your brain is disconnected from your physical self? That’s what I’m going thru atm… one minute I was checking my email then next thing I know I’m reading things about suicide… I’m confused and overwhelmed by what’s happening at this present moment… I need to stop myself before I do something idiotic and stupid that I might regret… A little part of me still wants to give life one last go but the other part (which is the bigger part of me and probably stronger side of me) wants to die and is not afraid to die… how do I stop the negative side of me from taking over my whole self?

Don’t have anything helpful to add @PocketRocket88 but I can relate and I’m really sorry that you are going through this. It’s a horrible place to be constantly sitting with SI.

@PocketRocket88 There are new approaches that focus on 'alternatives to suicide' . Maybe google that. Keep posting here too ... I have had my mind jump all over the place and lose time and stuff ...

Hi @PocketRocket88 , that sense of disconnection can be really frightening, and I'm hearing that you're trying hard to stay safe. As you can see, there's a community of people here sitting with you. I've just sent you an email, so please get back to us there when you get a chance

Hi there @PocketRocket88

I relate to a lot of what you've mentioned.

From suicidal ideation to not knowing how much longer you can do this.

I actively and currently feel this every day. I hope you know you are not alone.

This fallen world is terribly difficult to exist in for some people.

When I was younger I self soothed with drugs, and it made me so, so, so much worse. If I could go back in time I would stop myself fr ever using them, the brain damage it did still effects me to this day.

The only advice I can give you is what is working for me at the moment. Finding a time during the day where I can relax, get warm and lose myself in a book. Take a long hot shower. Tell myself that I will get better, whether I want to believe it or not.

I hope you find a moment of comfort this evening,

Christheart

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Sitting here with you @PocketRocket88 ❤️

And @Christheart, thank you for sharing what helps you too, while also acknowledging those challenges.

What I love about this community is that we're here for each other and support each others recovery journey. By sharing your story and strategies here, you're part of that community ❤️

What are you up to for the rest of today? If you're up for it, there are some folks checking in over at Share a cuppa? who I know would love to hear from you today 🍵

TuxedoCat

Thanks everyone for the messages.,

I made it alright thru the night… and now I wake up to a new day, reliving the same horror and problem as yesterday…

these ideations are the reason why I don’t look forward to in a day…

I love how people here makes me feel every time I post here. You guys are really helpful and very much understanding because you guys went thru or are going thru the same thing as I am. Knowing that someone out there is listening just makes me feel less lonely and I’m heard of and not dismissed…

But the fact remains is that everyday I’m a risk to myself and won’t know what could happen in a sec minute hour or day. I just have to hope that I’ll be strong enuf to stop myself from doing stupid things to myself when everything is not going well.

thank you everyone!