AnnaDContributor
Son with bipolar
Hi all
My son, mid 30’s has been very unwell for most of the past 18 months and this seems to have been triggered by the loss of a permanent job where the work load was severely impacted by Covid restrictions. He had his first breakdown when he was 18 years old but, admittedly, from an early age he was an anxious sort of person.
After a few difficult years and several hospital admissions he seemed to enter a relatively stable stage probably because the right medication for his problems was prescribed. Diagnosis was Bipolar 1.
He was on this med for almost 12 years, got to a point where he could move away from home, get into a relationship and hold down a job. There have been many times over these years where he seemed low in mood but managed to level out again.
But it seems now that the meds that worked for so long stopped being so effective. His sleep suffered, his mood was rock bottom and every so often there have been signs of a high, but mostly very depressed. All of this was worsened by how difficult it was for him to get a psychiatrist again and even a mental health professional to talk too… all booked out for up to four months. His GP did the best possible and lots of new meds tried but no good, just didn’t work and made his nauseous.
Finally he admit himself to hospital, private one of course, only option unless you are committed.
I was very sad he had to go in to hospital just to get psychiatric care but thought now he will get on the right meds and be stable again.
This isn’t what has happened. He has a psychiatrist now and is on a truckload of meds but still unwell. He is managing to work but it’s a casual job and he is super anxious about the future, financially, and about his prognosis long term…just as I am. He is still in the same relationship but she is very private person and doesn’t want to get overly involved by talking to his psychiatrist or to me about it, but he said she is good to him and he tries his best to not overload her as she gets anxious too. His psychiatrist won’t agree to talk to me probably because my son doesn’t live at home now and strictly speaking I am no longer next of kin as he lives with his partner.
For me, I have a good husband, but no other family in this country. I have suffered from depression myself. I find these days that my mood is almost in sync with my son. If he isn’t well I am so wretched, scared of the future too. When he has the odd good day I feel better. I want to travel overseas to see other family and if it wasn’t for my son I would spend a lot of time overseas in country of origin. ( I am retired) But I can’t leave him even though I don’t live with him I feel the need to be always available.
many of you I know will have much sadder stories and I feel for you. But for me, loneliness and isolation is a part of my life as my friends are all involved with grandchildren and their family networks, something I will never have.
I follow all the advice about keeping active, healthy diet etc but just need more support and connection, others who understand the agony that goes with having unwell offspring who want to be well and have a normal life. I am aware of the positives in my life, that my son’s partner is still around and that my husband is a kind person. ( he doesn’t get as upset as I do and can disconnect more from it all.)
thank you.
