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Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

ShasanSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 12:44 am AEST

Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

Hi,

I think this might be depression, or anxiety or maybe both?

I feel this way often and don't know how to break the loop. I try to be compassionate with myself and that helps sometimes.

But today, with this situation is just not helping so I thought I might get some tips or encouragement here.

So, I made an investment in something and I'm now regretting it. I feel I got a little tempted, pressured and didn't take time to properly plan and think things through. It's a very lovely project/product but it was totally unnecessary.

I guess I'm just feeling really stupid about myself for doing it. I can't go back as there are no exchanges or refunds for change of mind.

So, I now find myself in this ridiculous, unwanted situation where I've spent and won't be happy with things + too embarrassed to tell anyone who might ask what I spent on the thing - it's artsy but it's still excessive in my opinion ://

I don't know why I'm overthinking this so much. There's only one option because I can't get a refund or credit - that I make peace with my decision and try to look on the positives and be happy with it when it's delivered??

But I'm struggling. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. But I'm really hoping it makes sense to someone here.

Cheers

10 replies

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In response to: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

MDTSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 1:13 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

hi @Shasan
I guess from the sound of it, the thing you are referring to is causing you some adverse thinking
you said it hasn't arrived yet correct?
My understanding or view on art is that it is its own creation and sometimes i think that can be captured in the moment. I've bought things that are art or similiar (could be a video game or a movie on youtube) and then haven't even bothered with it really. Another good example is a book or several....

I think its important to criticise our own internal critic too though. Perhaps this is where your sense of struggle and overthinking is coming from? Your harsh inner critic needs to be put in its place

Easier said than done of course but at least by being conscious of that it can be helpful

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

ClawdeSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 5:04 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

Hey @Shasan hope your OK all us have regrets in one way or the next, don’t be hard hard in your self, you are are only human, look after you, if it’s only money, who cares, if it’s someone else’s money who cares, we all get through, does not matter, it’s only matter, and here we are 👍

In response to: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 6:49 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

@Shasan it’s totally okay. I think living with anxiety and depression can make you overthink things, it certainly does for me. Money is money at the end of the day. Sometimes many of us find ourselves buying things we don’t use, getting replacement of expensive things we have broken, we are human. It’s also okay to spend on yourself from time to time.

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

ShasanSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 8:44 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

@creative_writer @Clawde @MDT

Many thanks for taking time and responding - you're all very generous and amazing support.

The examples provided where we do this in other areas of life makes me feel a little settled and "normal".

Also, that sometimes it's really difficult to price art - I was focusing on the product but now that I can see the creativity that gone into it, somehow the money source aspect goes a little to the background - not as much in the forefront as it was.. Thank you for providing me perspective.

Thank you for your reminders to remember it's all human! All the mess ups that are part of this life some we can't expect and some we can.

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor23 May 2022, 9:57 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

We’re all learning @Shasan !

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

ShasanSenior Contributor24 May 2022, 11:37 am AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

Thank you @BPDSurvivor that is a great reminder.

@everyone:

Sometimes we strive for perfection and forget that is not helpful anymore! I'll try being perfect at being imperfect 🙂 I feel so much better today, it's unbelievable what peer support is capable of.

Have a lovely day. The sun is finally out where I live.

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

hanamiSenior Contributor24 May 2022, 11:42 am AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

Hey @Shasan

Yes trying to perfect being imperfect is the way to go! Peer support is so powerful. I'm so glad you're feeling better about things now.

sending hugs

hanami 💮

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor28 May 2022, 8:30 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

How are you going @Shasan ? How’s your mum?

Thinking of you, BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

ShasanSenior Contributor30 May 2022, 1:46 am AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

Hi @BPDSurvivor

I'm not ok 😢 so touched to see you follow up because it's been a particularly bad day today 😔

I just wrote in Hi! New and looking for support about my mom's current condition.

I'm feeling quite heavily triggered by childhood trauma memories related to mum's illness as I took care of her then when I was quite young and absorbed a lot of her paranoia. I've made a lot of progress in healing and forgiving her for not being an "ideal" mom but I still suffer with anxiety, catastrophizing especially and trauma memories. (For example I've been worried because I feel I may have an issue that's not been diagnosed because I was happy yesterday and today after talking to my family, I'm so low, gloomy and sad. Is this natural or is this a mood disorder because moods changed relatively quickly?) I don't know!

I'll speak with a sane counselor tomorrow and I also have my therapist appt this week. But nothing beats being remembered so thank you so so so much for the check-in. You're a saviour & I might finally sleep tonight because I suddenly feel better (may be nurtured coz of your concern?).

Thank you so much for sharing your light ❤️

In response to: Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor30 May 2022, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Guilty, regret and can't stop criticizing

I woke up this morning so touched by your message @Shasan .

I went to work with a spring in my step knowing that I made a difference to you.

Thank you so much for sharing this.

I genuinely wanted to know how you and your mother have been. Although it sounds like things have been tough, I hope you know and trust that you are part of our forums family here and you are a precious member.

Ive been through the toughest and darkest times. As hard as it is to see light, it’s there.

Continue to hold on. You are not alone.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

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