Sending lots of support to you, your husband and family. It is very difficult. My family has been through a similar situation. When my mum found out about what happened to my dad, we stopped seeing that family member. At first, we tried family counselling and tried to seek a heartfelt apology from the abuser. It didn't work. They denied it and also try to place blame on the victim which is what happens in most cases. We stopped seeing that side of the family altogether, except for 2 other families that were uninvolved and supported us. It's been a long journey with lots of stress and horrible feelings and court cases too. Unfortunately other younger family members don't believe what happened and believe that what happened was mutual. This hurts but we feel like we've done our part letting extended family know in case the abuser ever does it again.
It is good your husband has confided this in you. Men often suffer in silence and never bring it up for the rest of their life. It's a hard situation as you and your husband probably feel mixed emotions of wanting to keep the peace with family but it is painful for you both to be around the abuser. Maybe it might be good to ask him if his current relationship with the abuser is currently a good one or not worth pursuing? If not, it may be healthier for your husband not to see the abuser again or keep distant if that's not possible.
There is a specialised group that help men deal with mental health and abuse. My dad found it useful to go to a men's support group with the following organisation: https://www.samsn.org.au/
All the best to you, your husband and family as you navigate what is best for you and your husband. Know that you are not alone either. Beyond Blue has online chat if you ever need it. Lifeline could be helpful too. GP's offer a mental health plan so you can get covered for some psychology costs through Medicare.
