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Back again

Unknown userMember17 May 2022, 11:50 pm AEST

Back again

Well here I am back again it's been a while since I last look here for support

Not sure how to write this but I struggled last year and was at a point where I was happy to end it all.

But I got a pshyc and that didn't help much so I have tried to keep my mind busy in the garden to ward of the bad thoughts but after rupturing another disc below my last fusion and one above bulging I now find myself back In excruciating pain.

The doctors say it has to be fixed but then expect the next ones to do the same.

This is just a crap situation where I get to look forward to years of pain and misery.

This is an option that I do not want to do so I'm back to my old thoughts of endo g it all.

It's not fair on my partner deali g with me in bad moods but she knows why

It's not fair on my kids or grandkids as I can't visit them or enjoy time with the litte ones

And it's not fair on me I've lived long enough and I'm not going to spend the rest of my years in pain

9 replies

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In response to: Back again

simplesymbolSenior Contributor18 May 2022, 12:06 am AEST

Re: Back again

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to read that you are going through this difficult time. If you feel like you are in crisis please give one of the below services a call. I'll also send an email to ask that you check in with us to confirm that you are safe.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

In response to: Re: Back again

Unknown userMember18 May 2022, 12:24 am AEST

Re: Back again

Thanks for the reply but none of the services can take my pain away
I've called them in the past and with knocking them as they do wonderful job but they can't stop physical pain.
It's just relentless the only sleep I get is when I collapse exhausted.
And my doctor as helpful as he is cannot prescribe anything as I'm maxed out on doses and after 7 surgeries on my back each and everyone says this will fox it I'm now worse than when I started .
Surgeons don't care when you ask them why it's just failed back surgery syndrome another fancy term to avoid legal battles I think.
I just don't have the want to live like this for another 10 or how many years

In response to: Re: Back again

JoeTheLionSenior Contributor18 May 2022, 12:46 am AEST

Re: Back again

Hi @Former-Member

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. The pain and suffering you have had to endure sounds excruciating.

I have sent you another email, can you please reply.

All the best

Joe The Lion

NIght Shift Moderator

In response to: Re: Back again

NatureLoverSenior Contributor18 May 2022, 6:35 am AEST

Re: Back again

@Former-Member I'm so sorry to hear about your excruciating pain 😞

@Former-Member wrote:
And my doctor as helpful as he is cannot prescribe anything as I'm maxed out on doses and after 7 surgeries on my back each and everyone says this will fox it I'm now worse than when I started .

And I'm sorry that the pain is worse now than before 😞

Sending wishes that your pain will ease...

In response to: Re: Back again

PaperdaisySenior Contributor18 May 2022, 10:29 am AEST

Re: Back again

I'm sorry to hear how much pain you are in @Former-Member I can hear how debilitating that is for you and how your quality of life has been impacted. I would encourage you to reach out to doctors again as you deserve to be pain free and I would hope they can help you in that area. Unfortunately, we can't offer crisis support so please reach out to the services provided if you feel you need to. We can listen though, and I know there are many people here who experience pain and can empathise with your situation. I hope things ease for you and you get some support from medical professionals. Please take care 🙏

In response to: Back again

Jessie21Senior Contributor18 May 2022, 11:19 am AEST

Re: Back again

Thinking of you, just know you are not alone. I am pretty fragile myself at the moment so not able to give you any self help care ideas. Please ring the assistance line if you need too. 🌹

In response to: Re: Back again

Unknown userMember18 May 2022, 12:32 pm AEST

Re: Back again

I'm fine the near future
Thank you for your concern but all the services are wonderful but at the end of the day the pain remains and I've been putting up with it since 1997
I think I'm entitled to a bit of respite
My grand kids mean alot to me but I'm no use to them crippled up and cranky all the time.
I can't cou t how many pain specialists surgeons I've seen.
The last doc I saw who is a neurosurgeon that I trust with my life has said there is nothing more that can be done and it will get worse as I get older .
So answer me this
Why should I have to look forward to a life of pain?

In response to: Re: Back again

Unknown userMember18 May 2022, 12:33 pm AEST

Re: Back again

Thank you and I hope you get the help you need also

In response to: Re: Back again

PaperdaisySenior Contributor18 May 2022, 12:53 pm AEST

Re: Back again

It's hard to sit with those thoughts @Former-Member and I can hear how much that is burdening you. I can't answer that for you and from my experience I have always had to find the answers within myself. It's a difficult journey indeed. Thank you for letting us know you are safe for now.

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