Excoriation Disorder

Morning @NatureLover,

Big thanks to you for sharing your experience of excoriation disorder with us – it's always an act of bravery to share your story with candour 😊 That said, I'm sorry to hear it's something you've battled with for so long, though I acknowledge it can also be a tool for emotional regulation for you...sounds like a tricky one.

Till you shared your experience I only had a peripheral understanding of the condition, so I did what we do and Googled, but in this case I found a bunch of interesting articles on the topic. I thought I'd share one that I found helpful in understanding the disorder and building a sense of community – there is a movement of people living with excoriation disorder sharing their perspectives on TikTok! I love to see social media bringing people together and raising awareness. Here is the article if you're interested, @NatureLover.

Rhye ☘️

Hi @Former-Member , thanks for your response and for the very excellent article!

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@Former-Member wrote:

I'm sorry to hear it's something you've battled with for so long

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I suppose I must have battled with it in my late teens and early 20s when I was very social, but I hardly remember that. For the last 25 years or so I've accepted and welcomed it as a positive thing in my life - with more positive effects than negative, I mean. I guess this is because I can use the cover-up makeup when I go out, or a few band-aids if needed, so am still able to be social. The emotional regulation and soothing is more important to me than stopping the behaviour.

I appreciate you engaging on this topic! 🙂

Of course @NatureLover, that's no problem 😊

I'm intrigued about the difference between self-harm and excoriation disorder, because just as you've informed us, the DSM-5 does not classify it as self-harm. If you feel comfortable, would you be able to let us know how in your experience the two differ? No pressure at all though if you'd prefer not to approach that question. Just grateful for members like yourself who teach us new things and share strategies for coping.

I also noticed in my travels around the forum that you had suggested to @AlSimon that you'd start this thread, hence my tag. Hope that's helpful 😊

Thank you for the tag @Former-Member 🙂

The difference between SH and Excoriation Disorder as I've experienced it is that Excoriation Disorder is not aimed primarily at hurting yourself, but to achieve other things, like maybe numbness, giving your mind a rest (I got that one from the good article you linked! - very helpful and true), pleasurable sensations, making the skin even, masking emotional pain, aiding thinking through things, comfort and self-soothing, etc. The fact the skin is broken just happens to be a side-effect of all that.

However, when I had my nervous breakdown 13 years ago and was intensely suicidal for 3 years, I deliberately used the skin picking/scratching to hurt myself. I wanted to hurt and damage myself then, so that was the primary reason for doing it. I also did it violently, so that was different. Normally my skin picking is gentle, if you can use that word about it, and not at all violent. Sometimes I even think of it as beautiful. But not when I used it as SH.

So that's why I differentiate between the two. I hope that helps.

Thank you for sharing your experience and expanding my understanding @NatureLover.

Reading your words created a sense of being in those moments you described – I think for many of us with mental health conditions we long to feel a sense of self-soothing and comfort, and so I can understand how this condition may evolve. I'm certainly no expert, but I think it's really helpful to have the distinction between SH and excoriation disorder here for the community as I suspect there may be others who aren't familiar with the disorder and may perceive it as a form of SH.

Rhye ☘️

Hello all!
umm I’m new so maybe TW ?

thanks for opening this discussion and letting me and others share their experiences.

this disorder recently because top focus in my life due to a trip to the hospital (I’m really really fine)!!

for as long as I can remember everyone would always be telling me “stop picking your lips!!” I hated so much because usually I wasn’t even aware I was doing, so people telling me to stop made me feel very frustrated.

i still experience these same feelings of frustration but now I have to be the one to tell myself to just “let it go” or “walk away” with my Ed (referring to: excoriation disorder in this text).

i experience a total loss of control when im picking my skin, i get such an intense drive that makes seemingly small bumps, hairs, spots, any typical “imperfections” on my skin astronomically impossible to ignore.

Emotionally, I dont think my experience with Ed is associated to SH? what drives me to pick my skin are not dependent on my mood or by circumstance or setting.

what does drive me tho, is a real sense of withdrawal and perfectionism.

it would be really hard to understand? I think?? my partner when he catches me says stuff like “stop it, it looks like it hurts, remember last time etc”, I don’t know how to be thankful and then ask for him to to stop berating me bc it’s reeafirming my belief that I have no control over it.

okay

thanks,

think I started rambling TFIf

Hi @AlSimon ,

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@AlSimon wrote:

i get such an intense drive that makes seemingly small bumps, hairs, spots, any typical “imperfections” on my skin astronomically impossible to ignore.

Oh gosh, I can really relate to this! I can't have any unevenness on my skin.

I can also relate to not even realising I am doing it!

hey fellow readers

i would like to say thank you for coming to read and also for all those who share.

after sharing my personal experience with Ed (Ed referred to excoriation disorder in this text) that this morning I was feeling very self aware that I shouldn’t pick my skin type of thing. Saturday mornings are always really difficult for me? I think it’s the lighting in my room, something seemingly benign. The consequence of this self awareness this morning physically left me almost unscathed, but emotionally i am feeling sort of disgusted. it was sort of like i knew what would happen if I even so much as touched anything so I just couldn’t let it happen at all. no looking in the mirror at all, just move along. this felt very overwhelming because I know that I don’t want to hurt myself!! but having reflected all much, I knew that i just had no self control when it came to this - and so I just had sort of shut everything down. i have a masters degree in avoidance and am scared that this high intensity to focus on distracting myself sort of misdirect to me becoming impulsive?

i wanted to share this because I wonder if reading or sharing your posts has brought up any feelings like this for anyone else? Or if it has made them feel worse or better?

thanks guys

Hi @AlSimon , thanks for sharing.

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@AlSimon wrote:

i have a masters degree in avoidance and am scared that this high intensity to focus on distracting myself sort of misdirect to me becoming impulsive?

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I'm not quite sure what you mean...

I don't feel any worse from sharing or reading about Excoriation Disorder, myself. Or better, either...just the same, really.

i think that it’s about self awareness