Not in control

Hey @Wander I find your insights around what you’re noticing really interesting.

And not sure if you have come across Jung but if you are into jungian psychotherapy, his theory ‘in brief’ relates to there being various states of consciousness & how only being aware of our ‘conscious’ mind limits our human potential.

I’m just curious whether this experience stresses you out?

Because I have had the experience of psychosomatic responses at various times in my life. And I’m not saying that is what might be happening for you but there were times when it did freak me out & I leaned into my support systems to help me make sense of it.

I can hear how that would make you feel conflicted @Wander & I just wondered what supports you have around you right now & what you might find helpful for you?

Flybluebird

Hi Wander

Yes a few things to mention from my experience and learnings

But yes to feeling like two minds? In the 70s that old saying? Lights on noone home. Makes sense at times. I have a conscious mind yes, hard to describe but I do believe in a Inner Mind somehow. I am not a mind/body complimentary therapist to describe it. But with some spiritual meditations and workshop on Chakra meditations, I have, and believe we have a soul self (heart Chakra), Intuition (Brow Chakra) etc. When aligned Mind/Body/Soul, we can be more at one with ourselvs, in tune, in sync, that feeling of somethings on my side, wow. (conscious mind everyday doing and talking is the Beta wavelenghts, Relaxation/Meditation is the Alpha wave lengthts, they say this is where we are most in the right state to connect with self to problem solve, be aware of our selves etc. A lot of meditation works on this. Its in that box of understanding the brain (neuro science, anatomy and physiology and some sort of spiritual wisdom/knowlege). Complex its is. Many facets to it, you can learn forever on the topic.

With my schizophrenia (psychosis, stuff happens that is not my thinking (hearing voices) strong thoughts that are not mine. My psycholgist the last one said they must be, where do they come from. I say well I dont know its certainly not me and my thinking (hence some offend, distress me).
I learnt to distance myself from everything at one point in the early days of diagnosis.
Understand symptoms, side effects etc took me quiet a few years.

To stay true to self, the core innerself you are talking about, its important to me, and be constant in sefl worth, and really question your beliefs in general. Beliefs that are important to you. Sit down and work your Core Values. I.e Like been a good person, kind, I dont break the law, I accept other people for who they are if they are good decent people also even if a different belief, culture, and go about life differently to me etc. Simple to call it Self Development work on self. Understanding your self.
As for drinking, over time regular drinking just ended up, making things worse when I declined, 9 years ago when I got worse, I couldnt handle it and starting drinking everyday, it made my MH worse and the aniexty worsened, to constant scary chest pain, I was hopless. I had health department counsellors, but nothing worked, I did a 7 days detox and went to AA. Next month I celebrate 8 years alcohol free. Alcohol effects (GABA) and brain chemicals and makes depression and anxiety worse. Its an addictive substance and heavy use can be an accumaltive addiction over time and get to a point we cant stop. The 12 steps program has also helped me in conjucntion with my mental health supports and learnings. Alcohol will destroy the inner soul self, effect you mentally and emotionaly also. Once a mind altering substance is out of the way, and it takes time, for me with MH a good two years of not drinking to make and work with my MH better. Drinking heaps messed me big time and I was hopeless. Whilst hopeless, its a vicious cycle.
In AA the 12 steps, First thing is Step one, admit with are powerless of alcohol and unmanagable. one that will help if you feel like exploring, the two mind things and really helps, is Step 11 (daily prayer and meditation) conscious contact with higher power/divine essence or GOD of your own understanding. Those of us not in a faith Good Orderly Direction or Great Outdoors. At one with nature and self. I lean towards so eastern style modalities that I learn for myself to understand my soul self. Its a personal choice what you believe.

There are Dual Diagnsosis counsellors that you can also reach out to for support.
Alcoho also interacts with some medications and best to speak to doctor also. Withdrawals and be monitored etc. ❤️

Hello @HeartSpace @Wander @Former-Member really like your post thank you 😊

Thank you @Former-Member

I haven't delved into Jungian Theory as of yet but I will do so to the best of my ability. I've just skimmed through some reading on it and the concept of "the shadow" stands out to me as something I can relate to. I know what I'll be doing this afternoon!

I feel maybe this shadow self is making itself heard recently for whatever reason.

I have a good support system of close family and friends who I know are always there for me when the going gets really tough. I am safe today and I'm grateful for this platform to share my thoughts and feelings.

You have certainty given me some food for thought 👍

Thank you @HeartSpace

It's comforting to hear I'm not alone in this feeling of another self/concious that's not in my control. Thank you for sharing some of your methods that have helped you in aligning different parts of your self/concious. I have had some success with meditation in the past, primarily as a method of controlling panic attacks. I'm not particularly good at persevering and so have not taken it any further, but I can understand how this would be of great benefit to me in regards to my sense of incongruence of self.

Though I’m not sure of what your speaking about completely I often feel completely torn. My intentions never follow through and I’m often disappointed in myself. Of course I don’t think psychiatry has helped. I often hear them speak of ambivalence as though we can never arrive at a decision but they don’t really give guidance just dole out meds. It’s like this inherent prejudice that they can’t reason with us . I find it rather odd that psychiatrists have a patient in front of them who is struggling and a doctor gives them minimal advice and ups the meds. It’s like the doctor is exacerbating a symptom rather than dealing with a problem.