Thinking of hitting pause on dating

For many reasons

The main 2 are that I just find it hard to meet people. About a month ago I was not on any dating apps and I didn't think it was doing me good to be on them. Decided I would make thay change. So I did. But I am finding all rather distracting. It's like I'm just doing it and don't actually care for finding a partner or anything really.

Maybe I am lonely inside. Well then if this is the case, how come I want my space and my time to myself. Why do I want to disconnect from the world?

Maybe I don't feel lonely, I just feel exhausted.

Christmas was good to get away from the hum drum. Maybe part of the humdrum for me was being on a dating apps

I also know I need to be better to myself. Maybe this includes spending time ok valuable exercises for my mental health - not looking at how many matched I get or similar.

I know I have myself to give to another, but maybe it's just made harder atm. It's not a Permanent thing. I wont feel this way forever.

Its a weird time to be alive due to covid.

But I also remember every time I have apprehensive about doing something and have gone through with it then I have felt fine.

I need to occupy my mind with GOOD and WORTHWHILE things.