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I have gotten so used to living a life without pain. I pretend everything is fine when it soooo isn't. I do this as I'm scared to cry as I won't stop. I don't have anyone to cry to or anyone I trust. I learnt a long time ago that people use your trust as weapons and to tell your story becomes their ammunition if the friendship sours. I can't let things get me down as I won't get back up and I have to be strong to survive on my own. But how long can one keep going with so much pain knocking on my brains door all day every day!!!
It can be really hard @jayjay but you can get help. Have you spoken to your GP about how you're feeling. If you haven't I do strongly recommend that you make an appointment and also ask your GP for a mental health plan so that you can see a psychologist on Medicare. Speaking to someone who's not going use what you say as ammunition against you should help you a lot and it will certainly make you feel less alone. Keep talking to us here. We're a friendly bunch and it's a safe place to talk because no one knows who you are. We'll talk again soon. 🎶
In response to: how did this happen?
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: how did this happen?
@jayjay. I hear you. It's devastating when so called friends abuse your trust. It does make it harder to trust others. I have learnt to share my story with people who are interested. I have learnt though - who to trust with my most private thoughts. You do need to get out yiur grief and anger etc. A healthy way to do this is with a psychologist. Your gp can refer you to one - under the medicare scheme - if finances are a problem - as they are for me. My psychologist has earnt my trust multiple times. He has allowed me to vent and cry and argue. Whatever I've needed to do to understand my background and in getting my mental health better. You can also share more on this site with us. We are a non judgemental group of people - who have similar experiences & who support each other. I hope you feel comfortable sharing more of your story with us over time. You are not alone.
In response to: how did this happen?
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: how did this happen?
Hello @jayjay
have been thinking of you today ?? how are you , hope you are ok my friend
Hello @utopia, @Kurra
In response to: how did this happen?
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: how did this happen?
@jayjay. How are you going today? I understand it can be scary to let go of your pain and cry. I know that feeling that if I start crying - I will never be able to stop crying. It can be a frightening feeling. I have been thinking about this for the past few days about where you go and have a cry and feel supportive and safe. A good place can be your local community mental health team. They can talk to you over the phone - but they can also visit you or you visit them. They are experienced in letting people cry out their grief and fears and anger - & they won't leave you crying. They will make sure that you have cried it out. Please let us know if any of these suggestions are of help to you. Reaching out is the first step. You have done that by reaching out to us. One more step and you can reach out to an expert.
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