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Something’s not right

Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

I need help

I had therapy today and psychologist has diagnosed me DID and apparently I changed and since I have been real bad and my head is bad. I have voices and mostly they say things but sometimes they show me things, pictures or clips and one won't stop showing me something horrible and I don't know what that means but I know it's too much. I don't know how to make it stop. I already can tell it will keep me up all night and when I don't sleep I get really bad.

I don't know what it is, memories or just thoughts. Memories would be bad to think that happened and thoughts bad too because why is my mind so messed up to think that. How do I know what it is /means

7 replies

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In response to: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Hello @destructive thanks for reaching out. Having pictures that you don't understand happens to me too. I worry if they're memories too, especiallywhen the picture is unpleasant or wrong.

I have written them down on a book only I can access. For me, it's trying to get the yucky stuff out of my head. But also it's there for any time I want to read it, eg in a therapy session.

I'm too scared to share mine with anyone yet.

Do you find writing it down helps? Or maybe talking to a crisis line anonymously may help too? I hope you are safe and have access to support. Take care and hugs 🤗.

In response to: Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

I don't think I could ever speak it either @Former-Member do you have DID

I do write sometimes. I'm not sure I can even write this down. 😞

In response to: Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

hi @destructive , I don't have DID myself, though I have been diagnosed with several mental disorders in my life. Latest one was schizoaffective disorder as I can become psychotic and severe melancholic depression. I'm going through a period of wellness from the psychoses, although have bad anxiety and panic lately due to external stressors.

Did your therapist explain what DID is to you and what can help you when you feel unwell?

In response to: Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

@Former-Member she has kind of said what it is but not sure I've got it all yet. I don't think has said anything about if this happens because it's kinda new. The pictures happening is completely new but first time there's new content and not good content

In the past I'd take sleep meds but I can't at the moment ,:( pregnant

In response to: Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

@destructive distraction can be helpful. Like a favourite TV show or a movie until you feel tired and able to sleep.

Me, I watch comedians on YouTube as this helps me laugh and bring up my mood.

With pregnancy, other self care can be ok, like giving yourself a hug, massaging your tired body (gently), taking a warm (not hot) bath or shower. I don't know if you are safe to take natural hormones when you are pregnant, like melatonin, a Dr could help with whatever is safe during this time.

I remember drinking herbal tea when I was pregnant. That was lovely. I forget which one, but one of the teas helps in late pregnancy to prepare your uterus for the birth.

Sorry, I'm rambling on. I'm going to be going to sleep here soon so I hope that one of these ideas is something you would enjoy. Take it easy on yourself, you are a very strong person I can tell.

In response to: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment. i reccommend to keep reaching out to people in your area for support, people you trust, and check in with your GP about mental heath referrals and where you are at. i hope you are feeling ok and that things start to get easier for you. Take care and keep in touch with us here at the forums if it is helpful to do so.

In response to: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Re: Thoughts, memories, whatever I don't want them

Thanks for sharing you case. You're describing a really interesting process. With your selves communicating so visually, you would think they/youse would be to, to fair extent, occupying or coming from the visual parts of your system(s). It's probably very good that you're finding words to talk about it. Seems positive from an integration standpoint.

It's generally positive really, I'm fresh from a psych session myself and finding the words was a pretty big theme. After all, our emotions can't talk. We have to do it for them regardless of where you are on the integration spectrum(s).

There's a description of Yoruban rituals that goes, first introduce the problems in song and solve them in dance. Freeing the voice isn't the whole journey but it's a big part of what gets you there.

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